Ex-Husband's Regret

Rowan.

I see the moment she shuts her emotions down. The moment the warm look she had just a few seconds ago turns cold. Which leaves me cold.

“What are you doing here?” Ava asks her voice monotonous as I push my way into her house.

It’s like she was talking to a stranger. Like I was nothing but a speck of dust and nothing more. I stare at her unable to come up with anything. I’ve lived with this woman for almost a decade and yet right now I can’t find the right words.

I look at her hand still in a sling. I came to check up on her and also to pick Noah. It was the weekend so it was my time with him.

Remembering the man that I saw leaving, my brows furrow. He must be who the smile was for.

That little piece of realization makes my jaw clench.

“What was he doing here?” I ask instead of answering while trying to hide the unreasonable anger

I was feeling.

I get the guy is an officer and that he saved her life but he was crossing a line. I didn’t F***ing like him and I didn’t want him anywhere near Ava.

“That’s none of your business” she retorts.

“It is my business when you’re entertaining.men this early in the morning with my son in the house….did he sleep over? Is that why I saw him leaving?”

The thought of that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The last thing I want is for her to be exposing Noah to men months after we separated. It wouldn’t leave a good impression on the type of woman she is.

She gives a humorless laugh, pulling me back to the present.

“It’s not any of your F***ing business…do you see me meddling in your life while you’re busy entertaining Emma? And isn’t it hypocritical of you to stand there judging me?”

I glare at her. “Emma is different”

“How so?” she first feigns puzzlement and then her face lights up as if she figured out something. but I know it’s mockery. “Oh, I forgot she’s the love of your F***ing life”

I grind my teeth She was starting to piss me off. What the hell was wrong with her? It’s like she has something against me.

“I’ll never do anything that would affect Noah but I’m a single woman and I will have whoever!

Beside I’m bound to start dating I’m not planning to stay single forever”

My hands clench into fists at the last part. For some reason heat starts rising up in my core making me want to hit something or someone.

She turns and leaves me in the hallway. I take time to breathe in and calm myself. I follow the sounds of pans banging while I survey her house.

In all honesty I’ve never been here. It looked different from the house we shared So very different that I was momentarily left speechless.

I shake myself from those thoughts and continue walking. I find her in the kitchen wiping down the counter.

She looks up, glaring at me. “I had hoped you would leave. In case you haven’t guessed it, your presence is unwanted.”

Damn it. Why is it that everything out of her mouth these past few days is nothing but pure venom? It’s like all she wants is to strike at me and her family.

“It’s the weekend Ava, I came for Noah” I grow!

“Well he is not awake yet and you could have done what you always do Honk You didn’t have to come in”

I take a seat on one of the barstools She frowns at me and opens her mouth to speak I was sure she was about to say something that would probably piss me off so I cut her off

“That’s okay I can wait for him while we talk”

Her frowns deepens, and she fists the dish towel in her small hands.

“But that’s the thing Rowan, we have nothing to talk about As long as we follow the terms of the custody agreement then we can live like the other doesn’t exist *

I sigh Why was she so stubborn and difficult all of a sudden? It was getting on my F***ing nerves Where the F*** was the agreeable and subdued woman I was used to?

“Isn’t this what you wanted? For me to be out of your life” she asks

"I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration “I’m not the one who asked for a divorce”

I don’t know what the hell has gotten into her but I was beginning to regret coming into her house. It seems all she wants to do is light. I wasnt in the F***ing mood. Not when I was supposed to meet with kanta later on in the day.

True but that doesn’t mean you didn’t want it and look, it came at the perfect time, just when Empia comes back to town Now you can be with her the you’ve always wanted” she says bifted.

I know it’s always a sour subject but I never lied to her. Never led her on. She knew that Emma always had my heart and if it wasn’t for the mistake nine years ago, then she is the one that would have been my wife.

“What do you want me to say? You know I never lied to you. You always knew I loved her.”

She throws the dishtowel down angrily. “That didn’t stop you from using my b*dy did it? Gosh I hate you. I don’t know what I saw in you to begin with. I don’t know why I wasted so much of my time and energy on you”

I grind my teeth at her words. Her words angering me. Yes we did sleep together during our marriage but it was just to scratch an itch. I took vows and despite the fact I didn’t love her. I wasn’t going to break them by cheating on her.

“I’m not here to talk about the past, I’m here to talk about Noah” I say changing the topic.

It was draining going round and round. I needed to say what I came here to say then leave before I said or did something I would regret later.

Noah’s name gets her attentions. She doesn’t fire back. Instead she opens one of the cabinets and takes out a bottle of medicine. Uncapping it using one hand, she pops two pills into her mouth and swallows.This is from NôvelDrama.Org.

Reading the label, I realize it’s pain medication.

“How’s the arm?” I ask.

“You came here to talk, so talk Rowan… we both know you don’t care about me so quite with the fake concern” she snaps. 

I clench my hand and all but yell. “Damn it Ava!”

“What? I’m just stating the truth. Are you going to talk? If not you can leave. I’ll text you when

Noah is wakes up”

She stands up and goes to leave but I clump my hand around her uninjured hand. She immediately wrenches her hand from me as if my touch burned her.

“Don’t touch me!” she snarls.

Iraise my hand. Damn it! Is this how she was going to behave from now on? Are we forever going to be at each other’s throats? We had a son for F***’s sake.

“This childish behavior is one of the reasons why I always preferred Emma. Why I fell in love with her” I ground out, my temper getting the better of me.

Her face twists. Her eyes growing colder than I could ever thought possible.

“Say what you came to say then get out of my F***ing house. I won’t have you insulting me and comparing me to Emma. My behavior doesn’t concern you, we are divorced…so if you want to give lectures on anyone about behaviors go give them to the love of your life”

I don’t say anything for a while. We glare at each other. Each one refusing to back down. Looks like she finally grew a backbone.

“Look I’m sorry” I concede.”

She’s F***ing right. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have compared her to Emma.

We couldn’t be fighting. It would affect Noah seeing us at each other’s throat. It would hurt him and I couldn’t have that.

“You can take that st* pid apology of yours and shove up it up…”

I cut her off warningly. “Ava…”

“Fine…what did you want to talk about, hurry up I don’t have a lot of time” she gives me a devious smirk. “Since I’m busy entertaining men” she throws my words back at me.

I groan but ignore her.

“Your mom and my parents will be going into witness protection because of the case with the criminal gang. I want Noah to go with them”

She turns serious. “Why?”

“Because I played a part in reporting them and sinking their business. I also got threats from them. and they know my weakness is Noah…”

“And Emma, let’s not forget your precious darling” she interrupts me. Her voice dripping with sarcasm and disgust.

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. Heaven’s knows it’s been a trying morning and Ava is hell bent on pushing my F***ing buttons.

Ignoring her I continue. “Seeing as your father is already dead because of this, I can’t risk Noah getting hurt”

“Why didn’t you tell me this yesterday?”

“You left before we could tell you everything” I point out.

“For how long will he be gone?”

“Till the threat has been eliminated and the culprits caught”

She nods her head and sighs. “When will he be leaving?”

“The day after tomorrow”

I can see she doesn’t want to be parted from Noah But she also knows that this is the only way to make sure he is safe. One thing we had in common was our love for him. We would both do anything for him.

“Okay. I’ll start packing for him. You’ll spend the today with him and I’ll spend tomorrow with him. I think that’s fair”

“Alright then” I agree.

She then leaves to go and wake up our son. It’s as I was waiting for them that I realized what had been missing in Ava’s eyes since yesterday

The love that used to shine in her eyes when she looked at me was completely gone.

There wasn’t anything there anymore. In fact, she now looked at me like I always looked at her. With nothing but resentment.