466 Back at the Penthouse
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The sight of their toys scattered across the floor feels like a lifeline in the middle of a horrible dream. Despite how I felt when I left here, the penthouse actually feels like home now. Familiar and safe.
As I step out of the elevator, Anne greets me softly. "They're asleep. They were very happy to see their things and Bobby settled the cat in first. They even did all their chores without being asked," she pauses, studying my face. "How are you holding up?" I set my bag down on the counter and exhale. "I'm managing. Lisa's... not okay, but I think she'll be fine as time passes. She's angry at Lance for giving up."
Anne nods, her expression sympathetic. "And Jayden?"
"He's focused on logistics, keeping himself busy. He's bringing Lance and Judy back to the States soon, sorting out the wills, the services... everything. I think he's in shock, honestly."
Anne steps closer, placing a comforting hand on my arm. "And you? You're shouldering so much right now. Are you really okay?"
"I don't know. I feel like I'm being pulled in every direction. But I'll be okay. I have all the medical check-ins tomorrow. That will make me more settled."
"And me."
"I think I'll take a bath and make some hot cocoa for bed."
"You better eat something too."
She's right. I'm not hungry but I do need to eat as I haven't for a while. "What did you have for dinner?"
"There's soup on the stove, and pasta casserole in the oven."
Suddenly my stomach roars to life in anticipation of some home-cooked comfort food. "I've missed your cooking."
"Well, there's plenty there. Go eat and then you can relax. I'll be here if the kids wake up, but I've already set the monitors up for you."
"Ah, monitors...thank you. I guess Henry will like his walk-in wardrobe nursery again."
"He'll be grown out of it soon. But he's in with me tonight. I wasn't sure what time you'd be home, so it was easier. I can move him if you want."
"No, leave him if it's okay with you. I think I'll still go and look at those properties. The Penthouse isn't home long term. Perhaps when Jayden gets back, and Lisa is ready to get out a bit." "That's a great idea."
"Okay." I manage a small smile, grateful for her presence. "I'm going to eat and send Jayden a text. See how he's getting on. I doubt he'll sleep at all."
"He'll find it hard. But I hope one day he can get through this and get on with his life."
"I think he will, but he won't be the same person."
"That may not be a bad thing." She says as she moves to pick up a few toys and heads down the hallway to put them away.
I head into the kitchen.
Who will Jayden be without Judy? Will he find his way through this and allow us to go on and be happy and free? Can he eventually move on?
I know I can move on and only be grateful she isn't in my life in any way. But for Jayden, I'm not so sure. Can he ever really erase her completely. Would he even want to?
Lance is proof we carry things with us. I think about Steve Halley, my so-called father. He's gone, Mom took him out for me and for Cass. Just like what Lance has done with Judy. Same reasons anyway. To protect us and our future family from them.
I do feel free of him despite what my
life was made into because of him. For Jayden it's not so cut and dried. He has some good memories with Judy. They had times when they were close. And she did love him. He was loved and wanted and believed in
He has reasons to miss her. But overall, he has more reasons to let her go as well. But I'm not Jayden and he's not me. We are so far of knowing what we think and how we feel about everything that's
A
happened since Lance and Lisa came to Brussels.
Damn Judy and her snooping. Damn Judy being hell-bent on getting me out of Jayden's life. She got exactly what she deserved. But that may not be what Jayden thinks. I hate this for him, really do. I hate that Lance is gone. But I don't hate that she is.
I'll miss Lance being in my life and not because I was in love with him or anything. It's not like that. Never would be. Lance allowed me to open up a side of myself I may never have known existed. But this definitely not about me right now. Jayden will really miss Lance being in his life. But I wonder if he will ever forgive Lance for being with me. If he'll ever be able to forgive me. But we agreed to stick a pin in that topic.
I ladle some soup into a bowl and pop it in the microwave. Then I pull my phone out of my pocket and send a message to Jayden. The aroma of the chicken and vegetable soups fills the air.
Hunger makes my belly rumble. That's good. The microwave dings and take my bowl to the island counter and grab a spoon. The flavor is amazing. I eat the full bowl but there's no room for pasta casserole.
Bath and bed. I'm so ready. I check my phone. No reply yet. A yawn escapes. I'm so tired. I pick up my bag and the USB comes into my mind again. Jayden doesn't want me to watch it on my own.
But how can I watch it with anyone? I have no clue what Lance is going to say, and I may need privacy with what we shared. The only person I'd be willing to watch it with for support is Lisa. But under the circumstances, that is not happening. Technically, I'm not alone. Anne is here.
Pulling the USB out of my bag, I sit and stare at it.
Okay, Lance, my amazing friend, let's see what you have to say.