465 Picking Up the Pieces
(Winona)
Lisa finally emerges from her bedroom, her eyes red-rimmed, her face pale.
I stand from the couch, where I've been sitting for what feels like hours.
"Hey," I say softly.
She doesn't answer at first, just walks to the kitchen. Her movements are slow, deliberate, like she's holding herself together with sheer will.
I take a tentative step closer. "Lisa... can I get you anything?"
She turns to me, her expression a mix of sadness and exhaustion as she shakes her head. "I don't know, Winona. None of this feels real."
Her voice breaks, and she presses her hands against the counter, her head bowed. "I'm so angry at him. I'm so damn angry. Why did he have to do this?"
I move closer, keeping my voice gentle. "I know. And it's not fair. None of it is. But you're allowed to feel everything. The anger, the disbelief, the confusion-it's all valid."
She lets out a shaky breath, lifting her head to meet my gaze. "I wish he loved me enough to stick around."
"No, Lisa," I say firmly. "He loved you. As much as he was capable of loving anyone, he loved you. You can't blame yourself. No matter what, it was his choice in the end."
She nods, but the tears spilling down her cheeks betray her resolve. "I know. But I just wish I'd seen this coming."
I step closer, placing a hand on her arm. "How could we possibly? Lance... had demons, Lisa. He carried them for so long. I don't think he ever truly believed anyone could help him, no matter how much they loved him. He never wanted to love anyone and then leave them behind."
"Except that's exactly what happened. I'm left behind."
"Yes. But with time, you'll find happiness."Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
Her lips tremble as she wipes at her face. "I just wish he'd given me a chance. I would've fought for him, you know? I would've done anything."
"I know you would've," I say softly. "And I think he knew that too. Jayden said he got a USB. He watched it. It was Lance. But I never asked him for details."
"Is Jayden okay? This is so much harder for him."
"Yes. He's in control mode, for now. Cass and Viktor are with him still," I say. "He's organizing getting them home as soon as possible."
"And you and bub? Do you feel okay?"
"I'm going for a check up tomorrow, more scans and to make sure the baby is doing fine since the trip."
"Oh, we were going house hunting..."
"It's okay. Anne took the kids to the penthouse. Not like we have to worry what Judy thinks now."
She looks at me. "Can you even imagine what life without Judy is going to be like?"
I shake my head. "I do feel relieved but then I feel guilty. I never wanted anyone to be dead. That just seems too much."
"But we all know there was no peace for you and Jayden as long as Judy was around. Even from jail, she'd have found a way to make life hell for you."
I nod. "Probably. I know in my heart Lance did that for Jayden and I, for our family. It's hard to believe anyone would make that ultimate sacrifice."
"Actually, it's just typical Lance, isn't it? Unpredictable. Right until the end." Her fresh tears quickly turn into sobs. I put my arm around her shoulders. "Lisa," I say carefully, "I want you to come stay with me."
She shakes her head immediately. "I appreciate the offer, but just want to be alone."
"You don't have to figure it all out alone," I insist. "Please, Lisa. Just for a few days. The kids won't bother you, and Anne's there to help. I'll stress about you by yourself."
She looks at me, her eyes filled with gratitude but also stubborn resolve. "I know you mean well, but I can't. I need to sit with this. Feel it. Process it. But promise you, Winona, I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm not Lance. I'm not going to give up on the people who love me."
Her words hit me hard, and I feel
tears prick my eyes. "I'm glad to hear
that," I say quietly. "Because we do I
love you, Lisa. And we're here for
you Always. You've got me through so much."
en
She nods, her expression softening. "I'll check in. I promise. But for now, I just need to be by myself."
I know Lisa. She needs to do things her way, in her own time.
"Okay," I say finally. "But you call, text, whatever. Day or night."
"I will," she says, managing a faint smile. "Let me know how you go tomorrow. Get some rest too. Give the kids a hug."
"I will."
My mind is on the USB as I close Lisa's door.
I want to watch it as much as I don't want to. It will make things somehow more final. To see his cheeky grin. To hear his laugh. To see the pain behind his eyes that he'd carried a lifetime.
If anyone is to blame, it's his parents. How they could treat their own child that way is criminal. He never felt worthy of being loved. He'd told me that a long time ago.
When I think back, there were lots of
clues that he'd intended to end it at some point. But you know, you just don't take it as that at the time. It's a joke or something. It's no joke now.
Lance could never see his way out of his darkness, but I know something for sure.
Our world will be a darker place without Lance Collins.