BREAKING POINT

“It is always wise to be prepared for the worst. Joey loves you Penny. He is prepared to be there for you and your child. He’s ready to give you both his protection. He won’t ask anything more of you. I am sure of that. You could just go on together the way you are now… Being good friends and nothing more, unless you wanted it ”

“It wouldn’t be fair to Joey” Penny said. “I can’t let him make such a sacrifice just for me”

“That is dramatising the situation” Audrey replied. “Supposing the position were reversed… That Jeremy had been in love with a woman who died giving birth to a baby, that you were in love with him but knew he still loved the other woman. Wouldn’t you take responsibility of his child for his sake and for the pleasure of being with him… Knowing that he would always be a part of your life?”

“Yes” Penny said without hesitation.

“You wouldn’t think it such a dreadful sacrifice?”

“No” Penny replied.

“Then remember that if Joey offers you his name and if you are in need of him” Audrey said. With a smile, she added gently, “You know, Joey is my brother, Penny. He is all I have left in the world. I could never stand by and see him ruin his life… Far less advice him to do so. But I strongly advocate for a relationship between you two… If Jeremy should let you down”

Penny refused to allow herself to think any more about it. But she agreed that Audrey was right, in so far as it was her duty to her unborn child to tell Jeremy as soon as he came home.

Two days later, she received a long call from Jeremy. He told her that he had finally agreed to take the six month job he told her about before.

“Please don’t be disappointed, honey” he told her. “But I was kind of forced into this. There’s a lot of work to do. And I have been promised a promotion if I take the job. Six month is not that long if you think about it….”

Penny simply hung up, unable to listen to him anymore as tears of disappointment sprung to her eyes. She knew that in one way it might be best… That now the child would definitely be born before Jeremy returned. But the thought of another six months… Half a year without Jeremy was unbelievably dreadful. Even his words to comfort her could not make this prolonged separation any the more likeable.

“We may be able to get married sooner than we might otherwise have done” Penny remembered his words.

He had not known that she was hoping he would marry her just as soon as he returned. He did not know about the child. It was all her own fault for not telling him. If he had known he would never have signed on for that job. She should have told him. She should have…..

You have only yourself to blame, Penny told herself wretchedly. You didn’t trust him, you didn’t have the courage to put his love for you to the test. Now you are going to have this baby on your own. You are going to have an illegitimate child. Nothing can alter than fact. Now it was too late. Too late…

“Looks like fate at work again” Audrey remarked to Joey that night. “Everytime Penny had gathered sufficient courage to tell Jeremy, something has prevented it. It has been the most extra ordinary sequence of coincidences or whatever you like to call them. First the flu the evening before Jeremy had to leave town. Then finding him with the girl at the savoy. Then her uncle’s illness, followed by Jeremy’s posting. And now this. I’m beginning to think there must be a hoodoo on a wedding between that man and Penny”

“Is she too upset?” Joey asked anxiously. “Do you think i should go talk to her?”

Audrey gave him a tender compassionate smile. “I’m not sure, Joey, maybe. She’s hurt. But I know she’s going to wait for Jeremy because she loves him”

“Oh hell” Joey said.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“If you think talking is alright, then you can. Honestly I don’t know anymore and I don’t want to interfere but I can’t help it sometimes”

Joey smiled and bent and kissed his sister on the forehead.

———————-

Joey waited until they were seated on the short dry turf before he began to talk to Penny. He sat for a moment in silence, seeing her dark silly hair blowing across her face and trying not to feel hurt by the far distant expression in her eyes. He knew she was thinking of Jeremy, and no matter how severely he might reprimand himself for this ever recurring jealousy of her fiance, however much he might force himself to remain unmoved, always when he least expected it, he would find her gazing beyond him and that sharp pin prick of pain would shoot through his heart.

He loved her so deeply that he could no longer bear to think of the day when she might not be within his reach. He told himself over and over again that he was crazy to imagine their present existence could continue. There was always the possibility that Jeremy would come home to claim her and her child and he Joey, might never see her again. The only reality was his love for her. That was so real and so overpowering that he was conscious of little else. Only when he worked could he drag his thoughts away from her, but even at the hospital with his patients, he could see her face… Hear her voice. He was like a man obsessed and he knew it.

Fortunately, he had powers of concentration. With his kind of job, one had to concentrate on the job or else one could not work at all. He did not realize that many sleepless nights and the extreme emotional tension of living under the same roof as Penny were slowly sapping his energy and that the effort of working left him daily more exhausted… More tired than he had ever been in his life… Even under conditions when he was always busy.

“You look tired, Joey” Penny said suddenly. “I think you are working too hard”

He looked up guiltily, shook his head.

“I haven’t been frightfully busy” he admitted. “in fact, not busy enough”