Wolf or Love

On eventually reaching the river she found a bolder to perch herself on and took a deep, cleansing, calming breath. Again and again she filled her lungs with the fresh crispy forest air, letting it relax her. The familiar smells of wet earth and pine made her wolf ease a little within her. It was amazing how a place could relax you even as a barrage of sad memories hit you, mused Danica

A familiar guttural ‘tock’ sound snagged her attention and made her look to the tree beside her. “Hey CJ,” she said around the frog in her throat.

Why the bird followed her around sometime she had no idea, but that had been another thing that she and Zan used to marvel at together – the way

birds were so at ease with her, almost attracted to her.

Hey Zan. I know that I shouldn’t always come to you whenever I need to talk to someone, that I should actually try confiding in people who are alive…but they’d be able to tell me to shut up. And in truth, you’re all I have. As much as I really like these people here – with the exception of a few, including the evil and very senile version of Yoda – I still don’t feel like I can really talk to them. Not even to say ‘hey I miss my mom’. Actually, no, it’s not that I don’t feel like I can talk to them, it’s that I don’t want to start opening up to them and getting too comfortable here. Snort. Not that there’s really much chance of me getting comfortable with psycho boy around. You know, I used to look at mated couples and I’d think how amazing it must be, that once you mated you’d never feel alone ever again because that person would become a part of you. I mean, I know that my mating with Gio

doesn’t count in an emotional sense, but I still didn’t expect this feeling of being…trapped. I’m bound to someone who won’t even touch me socially, who deliberately avoids me – unless I want to be left alone, apparently I’m

interesting to him then – and who has my wolf enthralled. And how is it that he’s able to get my wolf so enthralled with him anyway? That shouldn’t be possible. She’s such a traitor sometimes. It’s freaking shit, the lot of it. I should be able to turn around to the person I’m mated to, even if it’s only temporary, and say ‘you know what, it’s my mom’s birthday today and I miss her’, but I don’t even feel like I can talk to him like that. See, you really are all I have.

A noise in the distance pulled her from her conversation with Zan. So she hadn’t been left alone after all, and they apparently thought she wouldn’t realize this. Oh the bastards.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

So this was what Danica had been feeling like, mused Gio. as he sat at the kitchen table tapping his fingers on the surface. It hadn’t occurred to him that by establishing a distance between them it could actually be a bad thing, that it could actually hurt her. But the way Danica had froze him out, walked away from him, pulled away from his touch…it hurt. She was his mate. No, not of the soul or heart, but she was still his mate and she had ordered him away from her. She had rejected his comfort. Generally he wasn’t a guy who offered comfort, but this was his mate. And

she didn’t want him. A part of him knew that it shouldn’t hurt this much, but he didn’t want to think on that or he would have to address the question of why it hurt like this. What bothered him more than any of that was that she was clearly

nursing some sort of emotional ache. One strong enough to make her withdraw from everyone and everything around her. His strong Danica was close to breaking and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. That sense of helplessness was eating at both him and his wolf, increasing his need to find

her and soothe her. Suddenly Tao appeared, panting. “Gio, we got a problem.”

Instantly he was on his feet. “What?”

“Danica. I can’t find her.”

“What do you mean you can’t find her?”

“I did what you said, I stayed a good distance away but was close enough to hear if there was a problem. Maybe she heard me and got pissed off that someone had followed her, I don’t know, but I can’t find her.”

“Shit.” So a large party of them searched. Searched every single inch of the forest, checked every tree, even the river. But there was no sign of her. It was obvious she had stopped at the river for a while, but then she seemed to have done a runner while covering her tracks. And damn if she wasn’t good at covering her tracks.

With each minute Gio became more concerned and his wolf grew more restless, understanding that his mate was hurting and missing. For a split second, Gio. had wondered if she’d done something stupid while so emotional, but the thought left his head instantly. Danica would never take the coward’s way out of anything.

“Okay,” said Duda as they came to a halt outside the forest. “Let’s put ourselves in Danica’s shoes. She wanted to be alone. Nothing more than that,

right?”

“Yes, so she came out here,” said Andrew.

“But we wouldn’t let her be. And I doubt that while she was in that foul mood she was too pleased about her simple wish being ignored like that.”

“Definitely not,” agreed Donny, “but she didn’t come and verbally kick our asses and that doesn’t sound like her.”

“It’s worth pointing out that she wasn’t at all herself,” said Ray with a shrug.

“But she will have been utterly pissed and insulted by the idea that we thought we could still follow her and think she wouldn’t know,” said Chris.

“Do you think maybe she’s been teaching us a little lesson about how not stupid she is?” asked Hudson.

It fell into place suddenly. Gio smiled. “Something like that. She’s been leading us on a merry chase. I know where she is.”

Everyone’s expressions begged ‘Where?’

“She’s back inside the caves. I’ll put money on it. She’ll have known that if she made it look as though she was missing, we’d come out searching

for her.”

“Leaving the caves empty apart from a few,” said Hudson.

“And giving her what she wanted,” finished Gio, “the simple chance to be alone.” It was a brilliant plan, he had to admit it. She had totally played

them, and played them well.

“Shit,” cursed Andrew. “I can’t believe we’ve been out here for hours and she’s been in the house all along. You’re sure?”

“It sounds like something she’d do,” said Donny.

It turned out that it was exactly what she’d done, although at first Gio had wondered if he’d been wrong as she hadn’t been in the kitchen or living area or in their bedroom. If he hadn’t picked up her scent in the second floor tunnels, he might have ended up back on that merry chase.

Following her scent, he soon found himself outside one of the guest bedrooms – not that they ever had guests. There were no sounds coming from. inside, but he was certain that she was in there. Slowly and quietly he turned the doorknob and opened the door. His chest tightened at the sight before him. Danica was curled up on the bed, asleep, with dried tears on her red cheeks. She was cuddling something, he noticed a few seconds later.. As he carefully closed the door and crept closer he realized that it was a shoebox. One that she had had for a while if the bad state of the cardboard was anything to go by. Curious, he sat beside her and gently took the brown box from between her now limp arms. As he removed the lid, his chest tightened again. Inside were nothing more than inconsequential little things like a net bag of marbles, a large shiny stone, a plastic engagement-type ring, a miniature plush bear, and some homemade Christmas cards and birthda cards and other bits and pieces. But these little things meant everything to Danica because they had obviously either belonged to her true mate or been given to her by him. Spotting a little velvet book he flipped it open and realized it was actually a photo album. Even as a little girl Danica’s hair had had all those different shades running through it. She looked just as fiery and energetic. The kid who Gio guessed was Zan had clearly been besotted with her. On every picture he was standing protectively close to her, hugging her or

holding her hand. Gio wasn’t proud of the twinge of jealousy he felt at how the little kid had been more or less born with rights to her. Inside the final two photo sleeves were small laminated cards. One had a picture of the kid on, along with his date of birth and the date he had died with a small sort of ‘rest in peace’ type message. On the other was a picture of a woman who looked uncannily like Taryn. Her mom, he quickly realized, noting that the date of her death matched the date of the kid’s. And then something else registered in his brain. Her mother’s birthday…it would have been today. Well shit. He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut as it dawned on him. She had been grieving her mom today, had been probably screaming inside as the agony tormented her, but instead of coming to him – her mate – for any kind of comfort or even to just confide in him or cry on his shoulder, she had retreated within herself.

Because she hadn’t felt like she could come to him, had probably thought that he wouldn’t want her to. Then when he, like a bastard, refused to give her the space she needed, she had finally sought comfort. The fact that the only place she thought she could find it was from a shoebox filled with memories of her dead true mate was like a blow to Gio’s gut. A blow he deserved. Guilt knifed through him as he thought on how much of a prick he had been to Danica. Duda was right. Although this mating was temporary it didn’t mean that Gio should be able to just cast her aside. She had become his responsibility the second he claimed her, but all he’d done was try to escape that responsibility just because he got a little spooked by his wolf and some primal instincts.