Want to Play A Game

It’s been a couple of days since I have talked to Matt. I don’t understand what is going on. I thought we had a great time. I try not to overthink everything, but it’s tough not to. I love the pleasure that he gives me, but I hate the way he makes me feel. I try not to get my feelings wrapped up in him, knowing he wants nothing more. It’s tough even though I just want to be around him all the time. I don’t want to seem like this needy girl, so I distance myself from him.

I let him have the control of when we see each other. Even though I hate waiting around for him. When we are together, the sex is incredible but is that enough. He says that he cares but doesn’t know how to show it. I am starting to wonder if he really does or is this all a game to him just to get in my pants.

I haven’t seen other girls go into his apartment, so I don’t think he is with anybody else. I think that he is trying so hard not to care about me that he is staying away. I am not sure why though: Why doesn’t he want a relationship. Things have been so weird I want to figure out what is going on. Then I ask myself do I really what if I don’t like what I find. After all, he is my neighbor, there is no running away unless I move.

I am so far into my thoughts that I don’t realize the time. I hurry up and jump out of bed. I need to get a shower today is my first day at my new job. I am not sure why Blair’s street marketing changed their mind to hire me. I don’t think I really care. I am just excited to start my new career. I will say I am nervous I have never been that great at meeting new people. I hope that I don’t blow it and scare people away.

I go and turn the shower on to let the water warm. Once it does, I get in trying to wash my nerves away, but it’s not working. Knowing I have little time, I hurry up. I shut the water off and grab my towel as I’m drying myself I hear a noise. I tighten my towel around me and go to my room to see what I heard.

I jump and scream What the fuck Matt you scared the shit out of me you can’t just come into my apartment unannounced.”

“Sorry Jessica, I didn’t think that you would really care if I came in.”

“I don’t care it’s just let me know when you’re coming over don’t just come in unannounced you scared the fuck out of me.”

“You look gorgeous all wet naked would you like to have some fun.”

I’m sort of irritated because that is all he wants from me. I mean don’t get me wrong we have fun, and it’s fucking amazing. I just don’t want it to be that’s all he wants from me. I look at him irritated, not wanting to say what I truly want to say. So, I just shrugged it off and ended it sweet.

” I’m sorry, but I can’t today is my first day at my new job, and I’m already running late.”

“I will make it fast, I promise.”

“No I have to go. I’m not getting all heated before I have to be at my job. It’s my first day. I can’t mess this up especially by being late”

He walks up close to me, I can feel his breath on my cheek as he whispers in my ear. “Are you sure that that is your final answer Jessica.”

As he takes his hand down my inner thigh. I jump back “Yes Matt I can’t, I don’t have time for this I have to go.”

It seems like he does not hear no a lot, he looks at me confused. “I really gotta go. I will text you when I get home I can’t do this right now.”

He says nothing to me, he just turns around and walks out. Not sure what his issue is, but I don’t have time to figure it out. As I looked through my closet, I felt that nothing was good enough to wear. Wishing that maybe I would have gone shopping before I started. I am not sure if I should wear a skirt or if I should wear slacks. Fuck it I have to be comfortable I know wearing a skirt will not be uncomfortable. I find my favorite pair of slacks and put on a purple floral blouse.

I go to look in the mirror, and then I realise fuck I didn’t do my hair I need to leave. I grab my brush and run out the door. I don’t see Matt at all as I am leaving, wondering if I pissed him off. He shouldn’t be mad. I can’t just be a booty call for him anytime that he wants it.

I ran up to the bus stop, thankful that I didn’t mess it. As I find my seat on the bus, I try to fix my hair just trying to make it not look horrible. I see that I’m not very far away. I’m so nervous wondering what today is going to bring. Hoping that I like it and that the people are friendly but not too friendly.

As the bus is coming to my stop I get up. I can do this really, I’m not afraid of getting to know new people. Or what they may think, who gives a fuck what they think of me. As I go to get off the bus stop at the step and look at the building swallow hard let’s get the show on the road. I try to build myself with confidence that nothing is going to stand in my way. I am strong.

The bus driver yells “hey are you going to get off the bus I got places to go.”Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.

I turn back and look at him “yes I am getting off the bus, have some patients please.”

Okay, I can do this. Why am I so nervous? I try to shake my nervousness off as I’m walking up to the door. I can do this, I tell myself one more time before I open the door. I hear my phone go off, so I go to look at it. Then I run into someone “I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention , it’s my first day, and I’m freaking out a little.”

I go to look up oh my god what a sexy sexy man I begin to blush. Fuck he is so gorgeous I bite my lip trying to resist my thoughts he says, “it is ok stop freaking out you will be fine, and I hope that you run into me again.” He smirks at me and walks away. I start to think, did he just flirt with me? Stop Jessica I tell myself I need to gather myself and focus. I don’t want to mess this up, so I get on the elevator and head up to my department Once the elevator door opens I tell myself I can do this.