Unforgiven Sins

Cinyla’s POV

Many days passed, and I could no longer understand BenChua’s actions. He is always acting like a woman who has a period. He was hot-tempered with the employees but when I was talking to or in front of him, he was too much of a boss so sometimes he was afraid to approach. But we are in the same company and one room because I am his secretary. So here, I need to take care of myself lest he becomes a dragon in no time.

I also always notice that his phone rings but he doesn’t answer. What could be his problem? While I was busy arranging his schedule, his phone rang again but he didn’t care, he seemed too busy with what he was reading.

I can’t help but look at his habit because it sounds repetitive but he just lets it go. Since I can’t control myself anymore, I ask him. “Sir? Won’t you still answer that? It almost rings 10 times.”

He look at me and said, “This matter is not your business. Focus on your work!” I almost dry my saliva in my throat because of his extreme seriousness. I said I should just shut up. I gave him a forced smile and apologized. Your phone is so distracting. Steady sound, when that sounds and you don’t have to answer that.

I just chose to do what he said because I don’t want to argue with him anymore. He’s not like this when we’re outside, he’s just strict when we’re in the office as if there’s no one for him. When it comes to work, work is a must.

I looked at my watch and it was less than noon, but my stomach was boiling. Why are you self hungry in the morning? BenChua suddenly stood up and said, “I need to go in the meantime Cinyla. You’ll take care of it first. If you’re hungry, you can take your lunch early okay? I’ll leave.” He said goodbye and I just nodded to him and smiled in agreement with what he said.

Honestly, he is so sweet and caring even though he is often rude he still proved that he loves me. I smiled when I thought of them. Maybe we are destiny because of the time he lived with us. My boyfriend Mark and I are LDRs, but the other day he didn’t even have a clue so I’m also confused as to why I let myself fall in love with BenChua.

In the middle of my drama, my cell phone rang. I quickly took it out of my bag to answer because it might be important.”Hello?” I speak on the other line.

“Hi, baby! How are you? I wanted to tell you something, can we meet after school?” this question caused me to look at who I was talking to. It’s an unknown number so I didn’t recognize it, it seems to be his new number but his voice is familiar to me.

I stand up and put the cellphone back in my ear, “M-Mark?” “Yes baby, I’m Mark. I’ll pick you up at 6 p. m so, we can meet. I’ll be waiting for you outside. Just wait for my call.” Then he dropped the call before I could even speak.

Wait, is he coming here? What if BenChua found out! Ugh! Too bad he disappeared from my mind.

I’m almost sweating sticky, I don’t know I entered. I know it’s wrong, but BenChua and I are still totally having something romantic feelings for each other and before I answer him I will fix Mark and me first.

I adjusted myself because the door suddenly opened and BenChua spat with a frown on his face. I laughed a little when I saw him but I didn’t notice it because I didn’t want him to get mad at me. Weirdly, he’s angry, he just thinks it’s exhausting.

“I can’t deliver you later, I’ll just take care of something. Just take care, Cinyla. Just update me when you get home,” he said seriously while sitting in his office chair.

I felt a little pain in my heart because I couldn’t be with him but despite that, he also didn’t know I was going to talk to Mark.

“All right, it’s okay,” I answered sparingly and when I saw the time on my watch I chose to say goodbye to him.

“Have you eaten?” I asked in surprise before finally leaving the office. “Yes, I eat already. I’ll ask you to do something else,” he said in the other line seriously, so there was another pounding in my chest.

“W-what?” I asked worriedly. “Later. Eat first, I’ll fix something,” he said.

I just swallowed and adjusted myself, I don’t know but I was suddenly nervous about what he was going to do. If anything it would have been just about my work with him as secretary. I just let it go because I don’t want to think about it first. After all, Mark and I will meet later. This is another one of my problems, he doesn’t know what’s happening to me. I just went straight to the canteen and I didn’t expect anything strange there. After all, there weren’t too many people, which was surprising because by noon there should have been a lot of food.

I just ordered something to eat and ordered a pickled dish. I also didn’t go on a trip to eat a lot because of what I was thinking. I was eating when my cell phone rang. I received a message from Mark, I read it and I didn’t expect it to come up to me.

I want to see you so we can personally talk about what should be. I know I’ve been busy and so have you. My conscience can’t handle this anymore so I’ll talk to you personally, Cinyla. See you later!

It’s simple and he hasn’t mentioned anything yet but I’m already hurt by them. I don’t know but I feel there is strange and bad news that he will admit to me. Whatever they are I need to prepare, I also need to prove myself…

I ran out of food because I wanted to go back to the office. I have nothing else to do there but finish the other tasks I have.

****

UNEXPECTED CONVERSATION

I have already returned to the office but BenChua is not there I feel, he is busy with what he is doing. If anything he would have finished that. I just went back to my table and took care of what I had to finish.

While I was taking care of what I was doing on the table, I saw a white envelope there with my name Cinyla My Loves on the back with three more hearts at the end.

I smiled when I saw it, I opened it because I knew it was from BenChua the man who makes my heart beat fast right now. Sentences came to me that made my heart beat faster.

Hi Cinyla, I am sorry if I can’t go with you. I am really busy and I want to apologize to you, my mom is alive and she will come this week. Maybe I’ll say goodbye to aunt next week so I can stay at the mansion. This is really what I’m going to say, I don’t want to see you sad, so I just went through the letter. I’m sorry, I have dinner with my mom later so I can’t stay long with you. Always be careful, I miss you, my future.

-BenChua your future husband

I almost cried when I finished reading his letter. I want to meet her mom but not now, I need to fix my problem with Mark first. I need to break up, I know it’s wrong but I want to clarify everything with him, soon.

I set aside his letter and returned my focus to the laptop. I fix everything because Mark and I will meet soon. I want to deal with him properly and be ready for our conversation even though I know I’m the one who will have a hard time with it.

A few more hours passed and I finally finished some of Sir BenChua’s paperwork for his proposal for his ongoing partnerships. I didn’t change anything, I just did more on compiling and revising the pieces of information. I stretched first and twisted my head because it was also tiring to focus on the laptop for a few hours. I looked at my watch and it was only an hour and it was 5 pm but Sir BenChua never came back. This is how busy the CEO is. I thought it was just petty-petty.

My cellphone on the table flashed to signal that I had received a message. I picked it up and read an unknown number I received.

UNKNOWN NUMBER

I’m here, Cinyla. I’ll just wait for you outside. See you.

Received 4:30 PM

I know this message is from him – Mark. So I cleaned my desk and tidied myself up. Because there was only half an hour left and I knew we would go home later. I’m nervous because of what could happen but I know we also need it to find out and say what should be.

Half an hour later, I prepared myself and went out first for our attendance. Because in and out is important in work here to ensure your attendance as an employee. After that, I took a deep breath first and called the number that had called me earlier.

“Hello, Mark? Where are you?”

“Hi! I can see you right next to the parking lot and the black car opposite the red on the right, that’s how you can see me.”

“All right, just wait for me.” I dropped the call and went straight to the parking lot.

I caught a glimpse of the black car and saw the tall man standing there wearing a red t-shirt. He smiled at his cell phone as if talking to someone, I felt pain but I just let go and continued walking until he saw me.

He straightened up and hid his cell phone in the back pocket of his pants. “You’re already there, let’s just talk in my car.” Suddenly I agreed and got in front of his car. This is the fourth time that I met him, but this time I feel weird.

We sat down but we were both dumbfounded and didn’t know what to say. I adjusted my seat and broke the silence between the two of them. “K-How are you?” Introduction I once think. to him.

He replied, “It’s okay, I’ve just been busy with other things. Cinyla, I don’t want to prolong it. I’ll admit,”

“H-huh?!”

“Please forgive me, I love you, you already know that. But my conscience can no longer allow you not to know what I’m doing. I hope you forgive me… I hope.” It held my hand causing me to be even more surprised because I couldn’t understand his point.

“Direct your point, Mark!” I said seriously.

I bow and pause for a moment. “What’s up, Mark?!” I said confidently. But his words make me stuck in the position where I am right now. He said, “I cheated on you, Cinyla…” “I’m sorry I don’t want to be swallowed up by my conscience, so here I tell you personally. I can’t fool you anymore, Cinyla. I’m sorry if I feel bad because the truth is I already have someone else, so I’m also here to personally ask for forgiveness from you, “he said tearfully.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

But I didn’t say a word because I don’t understand my feelings right now. It is mixed emotions. But what did he say? Did he cheat on me?

“Cinyla, my baby, my love! Forgive me.” He begged while still holding my hands but I remained silent and could not move in my seat. I could not understand everything he said.

“I know I’m hurting you now, so it’s okay for you to slap me and leave. You don’t deserve me,” he explained.

Unable to hold back, tears slowly poured down my eyes from earlier.

I let go of his grip on my hand. “Let’s break up! Stop contacting me! I don’t know when I’ll forgive you, but if anyone is your woman now, take care!” I got out of his car and that no matter how dirty I was because of my crying, I don’t care as long as I can leave already.

Why does pain love? Why does the karma I experience seem to be too much? Unexpectedly as I was walking in emptiness a car passed in front of me.

“Cinylaaaaaaa!”