Touching the Heart of Ace

Chapter 68

Robbie's hand roamed all over my stomach. I had lifted my shirt for his convenience and I could not

believe how much I wanted him to keep on doing that.

"Don't take it off, Angel." He rubbed his thumb on the clasp of my belly chain. He had to place a tracker

on me and Lia.

"I won't." I promised. I was disappointed when he stopped and pulled me to his chest. I pouted at right

at his face and his eyes warmed before turning sad.

"Don't go." I was not ready.

It had been weeks. Two weeks, three days, four hours, and he could only stay for one and half hour.

Not fair at all.

Did he not care how he could not see me, touch me, taste me or kiss me?

Stop it, Ace!

I was just being bitchy. I could clearly see my Robbie struggling. He had lost weight. He looked tired

and the stress lines had added a decade on his face.

"You are not eating well, Daddy." That was what got me all worried.

He kissed my eyelids. "And you are not sleeping well, baby."

He was right. How could I? He was not here.

"Remember why we are doing this?" He hugged me tight and I placed my ear on his chest, listening to

his heartbeats. He kissed my head before repeating the question.

I refused to answer. I knew why we were doing this. But did not mean I had to understand it much less

accept it.

Why could not people leave us alone?

The paparazzi were going crazy because of Janice and Kevin. It was their fault. Janice cheated and

Kevin had the audacity to stream it live. Why were people coming for us? There had been an attempt to

breach the hotel by some media and Levi suspected a possible abduction of either Lia or me.

Robbie and Jason went ballistic.

Levi noticed some people roaming around the hotel in staff uniform and they were peeping into rooms.

He notified the owner of the hotel and Robbie; those people were arrested and none of them were from

media.

I shivered.

There was also a case of bouquet delivery to my room but Levi knew Robbie would not just ask the

receptionist to drop the flowers to me without telling him.

Janice had gone on a victim rampage on Facebook, making the mess, messier. Now, people wanted to

know who Robert Brantley was protecting and why the kid was with that person. Speculations were

blowing left, right and middle. Robbie could not even come to see me because media were tailing after

him.

The only reason he was here because I cried. Not my proudest moment, but there were people after

my Lia. To know that there was a chloroform bottle and black gloves in the pockets of an arrested

person... Jesus!

We had to do a stunt where we pretended to leave this hotel and the media tailed after the dummies. I

was shaking to core.

Janice had cried on live claiming she missed her child and wanted to see her beloved baby. Ironically

she had not contacted the cops, but media of course stood with the 'troubled' mother.

Jason was also suffering because him coming with Robbie would raise suspicions about my being the

'anonymous person in Robert Brantley's jacket'. Everyone knew Jason and I were brothers.

I was alone in this hotel room while people were after my kid. Who were those people who roamed

around in the hotel in staff uniform? I panicked and called the only person in this whole world who

would want to be with me at that moment.

My Robbie.

So here he was.

"Baby."

I tightened my hug, knowing he would probably want me to let go.

Nope, not letting go.

"You have no idea how much I hate being away from you." Robbie whispered and my heart pained. My

eyes found his and I saw anger, hurt and frustration in them.

This man loved me in his own way which might not be the perfect way. But I knew there was no one in

this whole world, living or dead, that he had strong feelings for like he had for me. Whatever he had for

me was all he could ever give and if he could do or feel more, I would be the one who would be on the

receiving end.

The thought of hurting him, for not loving him like he deserved, was stabbing my heart. I could not bear

him being hurt, not being next to me and I was worried out there, people were emotionally scarring him.

I remembered Janice slapping him across his face. My hand rubbed on his cheek. She had that power

over our lives. To come and go out of our home like she owned it; owned him. She could brag and drag

my man's name in her filthy twisted scam businesses without remorse.

I kissed his heart and then his nose on my tiptoes.

"The lawyer is not making it any easier. I hate this." When I was sitting in this luxurious hotel, safe and

sound with my baby cuddling in my arms, my man was facing all my demons alone and what was I

doing? Filling his heart with more sadness and frustration. "Knowing you are here, waiting for me,

missing me and not willing to let me go are the reasons I had not gone completely insane."

"I will wait for you how long it takes. You are mine, Robbie." He squeezed me harder and his face found

its home on the crook of my neck. My hands roamed around all of his upper body. "Don't forget to eat."

I whispered to his ears and he nodded.

When he took his face away I latched my teeth on his neck and pulled up a hickey.

Mine! Mine alone!

My heart thrummed when his eyes lost that helplessness and determination filled in.

"Go, now. I don't care who finds out about us. So, take that off your mind, yeah? I am fine, here. I just

got scared when..." I hugged his neck.

"I am the luckiest man in the world." Robbie announced staring at me.

"And don't you dare forget it."

"Yes, darling." He smirked and I blushed.

"It is a good thing you are a handsome charmer, or where would you be, Robert Brantley?"

"Charming or not, I will definitely end up in your arms, Ace Truscott." He kissed me, stealing my breath.

I poured all my feelings into that kiss before wiping his glistening mouth with my palm. "Go, now,

Daddy. Next time can you stay the night?" I got lost in his intense stare. "I... I miss sleeping next to

you."

He nodded. "I promise to hold you and cherish you while you sleep next to me for rest of our lives."

"And I promise to wait, until you can."

He peppered my face with kisses. "Lia?" He asked.

"Just go Daddy, if she wakes up from her nap, you won't be able to leave." He closed his eyes and

sighed. "You have two people depending on you to come home, Robbie. Go now, so you can come

back faster."

He gulped before his face turned stoic. He gave me a stiff nod, a hard kiss on my forehead and left

without looking back.

I blinked back my tears.

I waved back when he turned around in our elevator on the other end of the hall.

For us, Daddy. I miss you already.

I locked the door and went back to my sleeping baby. She was too ecstatic to see her daddy. She sat

on her lap and only opened her baby mouth when daddy fed her lunch. She kept on babbling and

wanted daddy to sing her lullabies.

She was going to cry after the nap not finding her daddy.

I climbed on the bed and lied next to her popping my head on my elbow.

She had a small smile in her sleep.

"My baby." I whispered before planting a kiss on her cheek.

I smiled when she cooed and turned around before tucking herself on my chest. She always did that.

The one person that I was sure would end my love, my obsession, my imperfect relationship with

Robbie became the reason why Robbie and I evolved to whatever we were this day.

Who would have thought?!

Robbie had plans to keep Lia and I separated. I could not blame him. He needed to be with me and

most people would not be okay to take care of a baby who were born from these circumstances. There

were some days that did make me wonder, how much I loved and adored my baby.

I could not think of her not being in my life. And I wanted her as my daughter not as anyone else;

definitely not just as my lover's kid. She was more than that. She was my baby; my child, my daughter.

I brushed curls off her forehead and kissed her again. "I love you so much, Amelia."

The one reason that could have successfully burn my relationship to ashes, the one person who could

have possibly made Robbie hate me, turned out to be the glue that completely and irrevocably melded

together.

Lia pushed and pulled us together until we three became one small entity.

One small family.

To think I was afraid of her before she was born made me feel so silly right at this moment.

I shook my head.

I adjusted the pillow on the headboard, and sighed before leaning back, with Lia on top of my chest. I

took the phone off the nightstand and went through Robbie's messages.

My Jerk; I had named him. I smiled thinking of all those incidents that made me believe that he was a

jerk.

I changed his contact name to Big Baby and on afterthought, also added a heart emoji.

A dorky name for a dorky person.

We miss you already. Show them what you got, Demon. I love you and I need you.

Robbie could calm down the media after some of his politician acquaintances did some publicity stunts.

Media left Janice high and dry because of the pressure from the bosses who were not in their pay

grade to even see.

But still my man could not be with us.

That stupid ass lawyer Terry still gave Robbie a hard time. We still did not get why he was reluctant to

file a divorce. That idiot was dragging him left and right and postponing the whole process day by day.

It was affecting me. It was affecting Lia.

She barely left my arms. She refused to eat her happy foods and trying to get her sleep was tiring. She

did not like Levi too and that was a first time. She hated him coming near me and always climb up my

lap, her eyes narrowed in distrust.

Levi being the cool guy he was, politely smiled at her and made our stay comfortable.

When another two weeks passed without any progress from his lawyer's side I begged Robbie to come

to us for at least a night.

And I accidently spilled that daddy was coming.

Now my baby refused her evening nap, her proper dinner and she was waiting for him to come to be

my sweet baby again.

"Baby, Davey will wake you up. Come on sweetheart."

"No, Daddy come."

"Yes, he will. Come here."

She did come to me but instead of lying next to me, she climbed my body and draped herself across

my waist.

"Little Baby, what are you doing?"

"Mmwnaeme." Her mouth was pressed to my stomach.

"Baby..."

"Kissie Davey." She announced before falling back again. Then she blew a raspberry too.

"Lia..." I warned. It was well past her bed time.

She picked her head up and pouted.

"Come here." I patted my chest, but she ignored me and fell back again.

"Fine! So be it. I am sleeping. I am a good boy. Not like you, meanie." I closed my eyes and pretended

to sleep. She wiggled and squirmed, slithering away. Then I felt a baby finger poking on my face. Then

warm milky breath fell on my face and I opened my eyes, glaring right at her and she squealed.

I plucked her up and threw her to the bed, tickling her belly. "Who is the tough girl now. Huh? Huh?

Huh? Not so smart, now. Huh? Huh?"

"DAVEY!!!! Stoooooop." She giggled and gave me nice kick on my chest. But I was used to it and I lied

on 'top' of her blowing raspberries after raspberries.

I finally stopped when she sounded out of breath. "I love you."

"I lub you."

I pulled her closer and slowly rocked her. "Daddy, Davey."

I sighed. "He will come, Princess. But he will not be happy to see you up."

She mumbled something before dropping her head on my shoulder.

The doorbell went off and Lia jumped away from me. "DADDY!!!! DADDY!!! Daddy daddy daddy." She

wiggled her wittle bum, doing a happy dance and ran to the door. I walked a bit more slowly behind her.

The door would only open with my fingerprint or Robbie's. She was jumping on her toes and I wanted

too.

When I peeped through the hole, I saw Levi standing with dinner and he raised his three fingers. It was

our code to know it was all okay.

"Lia. It is not..."

"DADDY DADDY DADDY."

I opened the door and my baby deflated like a balloon. "Sweetheart..." She raised her arms, glaring at

Levi and hugged my neck so hard.

If I did not know better, I would have thought Lia was protecting me from strangers. Silly Little Baby.

Well, it was not entirely her fault. Her daddy, my Big Baby was just like that.

Levi only smiled and served the dinner on the table. "Mr. Brantley will arrive in ten minutes, David. He

had requested me to wait." His eyes flickered to my baby who was still scowling with her adorable pout.

"I can wait outside."

"No... no... please. She is not really like this. I think the whole situation is getting to her more than we

anticipated. Come on, sweetie, give him a smile. Isn't he pretty?"

"No."

"Oh!"

Levi giggled. covering his mouth.

"I am so sorry. I..."

He waved away my apologies. "No worries, David. My husband calls me pretty all the time. My big ego

can indeed take a pint sized hit."

I sat down and Lia straddled my lap facing away from me and kept on glaring.

"I did not know you were married. Who is the lucky guy?"

"I normally would not disclose when I am working. I am married to Salvatore Bianchi, the owner of this

hotel."

"Then what are you doing here?"

He giggled. "Your partner wanted the best for you and he did not want you to feel left out. Sal says Mr.

Brantley only picked Palazzo because he is gay and married."

"That is not true. I did not know about..."

"Mr. Brantley always thinks ahead, David. You know that. You were going to be under our care and he

would rather have you with people who would not judge you. Well we are gay and happily married.

How can we judge you when we are the same?"

I shook my head.

Robbie was something else.

"Well, we are not married." I put my chin on Lia's head.

Levi smiled at Lia and then back at me. "Still would not find a difference, you might as well be married.

You even have a baby together. If this was a competition you would win." He fake pouted.

I laughed and Lia tipped her head back and glared at me.

"Look at her. Getting all protective thinking I will steal you from her daddy." Levi affectionately looked at

Lia and smiled.

I winced. "Caught that, huh? I am sorry." How embarrassing! "She is..."

He smiled. "With everything going on, can you blame her? Kids are very perceptive, David. They are

not articulate as us but they sure as hell not S.T.U.P.I.D. Though your child is far too advanced for her

age."

"Uhh... Thanks. I always talk to her. Even when she was a few days olds I would read her everything

and she would mimic whatever I do. I think that is one of the reasons and other is of course, her daddy

is smart." I pecked her head and she went back to glare at Levi.

I could see the longing in Levi's eyes. "You have been trying?"

"Yeah."

"What is the problem?"

"My husband."

Ouch!

"He is not really into kids. I am from a big family and I want to have a big family too but he... he thinks

we are perfect the way we are. I don't mind it but some days..." He sighed wistfully.

"Did you tell him that you want kids?"

He chuckled. "It is not that easy."

"Oh! Why not?"

"Is that what you do? Tell Mr. Brantley you want something and he will get you anything?"

"Pretty much. Yes. Always."

"Wow!" He snorted. "It must be nice."

"Yes, it is. So, tell yours and may be he is not wanting it because he does not know how amazing it

could be to be parent. But if it is something much more complicated and deep rooted, you have every

right to know. Even if you choose to not have kids, at least you would know why and it would be your

decision too."

Levi blinked and I blushed.

"Thank you." His eyes dropped to Lia again. "I just did not want him to think that I would leave him or

some equally absurd thoughts he would pull up from the depth of his childish mind. It is not a deal

breaker or anything. I never thought of kids actually before getting married. I never thought of marriage

too. But... it would be nice. That's it. He just too childish."

"Tell me about it."

He gasped. "Mr. Brantley too?"

"Don't let that suit and face fool you. He is as childish as childish could get."

A firm knock and 'Angel' followed my words. "Speak of the devil." I mumbled, and stood up with Lia

who refused to drop her legs to the floor.

She jumped off from me to her daddy the moment Robbie came in.

"Hey, Pretty Princess!" He kissed her cheeks. "What are you doing up?"

Lia looked at Levi then back at Robbie.

Stopping me from cheating on you!

I rolled my mind eyes. Like Daddy like daughter.

Why am I even surprised!

"Hey, Levi."

My eyebrows rose up when the Little Devil dropped her legs to the floor now. When I tried the same

she pulled her feet to her chest.

Spoiled tiny brat.

She hugged my legs looking between Robbie and Levi, not noticing my glare.

Robbie took Levi's hand in his. "I can't thank you enough. For you to go this extend to make my babies

comfortable..."

"Mr. Brantley, my husband personally assigned me. He would not have asked me to, if this was not an

extreme situation."

"I don't know what would have happened if those people got..." Robbie closed his eyes. I plucked my

baby to my hip and cuddled closer to him.

"We are here, Daddy."

He nodded.

"My husband is your friend, Robert. Of course we would help as much as we could. Is the situation

resolved, yet?"

"Media, yes. Rest? Not even an inch." Robbie sighed.

"We are here. Now, I am retiring a bit early. My husband might appreciate a massage. I am the one

who is working but he is the one who gets tired. The dinner served, Sir. Now, I will remember our talk

David."

I nodded.

"What talk?"

Levi blushed a bit and I saved him. "Childish husbands."

Levi froze before giggling. "Childish husbands." He parroted before bidding us good night.

"Good night, Miss Amelia. Have sweet dreams."

"Davey, whosee?"

Levi frowned and I answered my spoiled baby. "That is Levi. He got you, your pudding."

"Levi?" She confirmed.

"Yes, baby."

She nodded her head like a doll. "Goo ny, Levi."

Levi cleared his throat. Good luck, Mr. Bianchi, you are going to be a father, you like it or not.

"Good night, Miss."

Lia giggled. "Pincess."

"You are a Princess? Ah!" Levi gasped. "How rude of me my Lady! Forgive me." He gracefully bowed

with an outstretched leg like a Prince extending his palm.

My diva of a child did not bat an eye and placed hers on top.

Levi kissed the back of her hand making her giggle and blush. "We are going to be friends, Princess."

"Davey bafren." She patted my chest looking at Levi and I translated her 'best friend' for Levi to

understand.

If Levi was a girl this would be the night, he would get pregnant the way his eyes popped out. At least,

Mr. Bianchi would have a very 'good' night before 'you are going to be a father' announcement.

"Well, just friend is fine by me." Levi showered all his pent up affection on my baby before high tailing

out of our room mumbling something about needing his husband.

Lia was in good spirits all through the night. She made a new friend, daddy was feeding her from his

own plate and Davey for once was not bugging her to sleep. Her ideal day.

I opened my mouth when Robbie gave me piece of shrimp.

"You eat, Daddy. You look tired."

"It will go away when I see you two eat." Belonging to NôvelDrama.Org.

Who fault was that Lia and I were this spoiled?

Well, after dinner where I fed Robbie more than he usually ate, he did come for his share of spoiling. I

barely sat down before putting on an animation for us to watch, when I felt his naughty hands finding

ways to climb up my body.

"Later." I whispered.

Had he ever listened?

I pushed his hand off my butt, glaring. I pointed with my eyes, to our kid who was sitting in front of us,

giggling.

"Davey, look, look, look."

"Yes, Princess. Davey is looking." I jumped when the bastard pinched my butt.

I glared again. And he nodded me to his lap.

Was he serious!

He wanted me to sit on his lap with Lia here? He had no shame. Uggghhh! Robbie stretched his hand

behind Lia and his fingers rubbed all over my face. I tried to swat them away feeling ticklish.

I pleaded with my eyes to wait for our baby to fall asleep but the man was as disobedient as his child.

Soon, Lia was dozing off, her eye lids drooping but she would jerk awake every few minutes.

"Wanna lie down with Davey?"

"Nuuu..."

Robbie's hand had creeped under my shirt and I forcefully took it away. I was so not doing this with Lia

here. He scooted closer and dropped his head on my shoulder.

It was fine until he rolled his head every few seconds to feel my chest and my neck. I tsked in

annoyance and tried to shrug him off.

"Are you not wet?" He whispered to my ears when Lia sleepily giggled.

"Bastard, stop!"

"I will stop... quick... baby..." His hand pulled on the waist band of my pyjamas.

This went on until Lia fell flat backwards right on Robbie's chest. But she whimpered when we stood

up.

I started talking to her softly and climbed next to her patting her chest. Robbie lied behind me, his hand

resting on my waist.

"Daddy and Davey is right here, Baby Angel. Tomorrow Davey and Baby will draw flowers, we will

dance together... then we will see you friend Levi and he will bring you milk and cookies... and..." I

jumped and hissed.

He pinched my nipples hard.

"She is not asleep yet." I scolded him; turning my face back.

"Looks like that to me."

She would wake up the moment I left this bed.

"Please wait."

"Why would I?"

I yanked on the hair on his arm when it tried to slip under my briefs.

He relented, but his hand looped my stomach and pulled me to him; my butt slamming to his pelvis.

"Did you touch thinking about me?" He whispered breathlessly to me.

"Robbie!" I hissed, half embarrassed, half worried if Lia was listening. She was not but...

"I did. Several times. I missed your smell so much. It is not the same without your sweat." Robbie

sniffed my neck.

My resolve was melting.

"Did you miss me?" He kissed my cheek.

He knew I did. I told him every day. I poked his veiny arm. "You know I did."

"Did you miss me inside you?"

"Robbie... please."

"Come with me." I wanted him so so so... bad.

I looked back at my passed out kid who was lying on my stretched elbow.

"In five minutes. I promise."

He lewdly groped my butt, but stood up and left to our bedroom.

I gently caressed my baby girl, kissing her and slowly lowered her head to the pillow before taking my

hand away.

I barely stepped foot inside and Robbie plucked me from the floor to his strong hands, his lips finding

mine and tongue rolling inside my mouth.

I moaned and I wiggled around wanting to feel his hard body.

"Missed you so fucking much, Angel."

"I missed you too, Robbie. I cannot wait to go back to our home and sleep next to you every day." I

panted as he nibbled my neck. "Robbie, make love to me, please. I want to feel you so bad."

He made a pained sound before taking me to our bed and stripping me down. I spread my legs for him

to settle; so needy, so slutty.

"My Love." He fingers brushed back my hair. "Every second away from you is torturing." He kissed all

over my face, looking at me like he was dreaming.

I took the lube of the nightstand, prepped myself and then slathered his bad boy before taking him in

my hand to push it inside.

I was that desperate. Very very very desperate.

"When you leave tomorrow, I want to feel you inside, in my every move, Robbie." I sniffled. I hated

crying in front of him. "I missed you so bad, it hurt me."

"Shhh... I am yours."

"You are mine." I nodded.

Robbie was gentle. Really really gentle. Gentler than our first time. He had so much to tell me and I had

so much to feel.

"Don't touch anyone the way you touch me." I pouted and glared at him.

"I won't." He groaned when I squeezed around him. "Jesus!"

My hand rubbed on his chest as he barely moved up and down my body, every action accentuated with

his kisses on my face. "I am serious Robbie. Don't touch anyone, don't kiss anyone the way you kiss

me, or hug or..." I whimpered when his thrust went off centred. "... or have sex or make love or hunt

or..."

He pressed kiss on my forehead before licking off my sweat. "I won't."

"Promise me."

He stopped moving. "I never wanted anyone else and I never will."

I loved the way he told me that. He found it was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. His

eyebrows were scrunched in confusion and I kissed his frown away.

"Good. Because, if you touch anyone else this way, I will kill you and then I will die and then I won't

come with you to hell."

He was flabbergasted. "Where else would you go?"

"To heaven. I am an Angel."

"I will fucking drag you to hell in chains." He started to move brutally inside me, and I giggled at how

angry he looked.

I pouted though. "So, you will touch someone else."

He slowed down. "No. Hell no! You are my... whole life, my world. I don't want anyone else. I can't even

think of touching anyone else."

I smiled, blushing slightly. "Okay. So promise?"

"I promise, my Brat. So, will you come with me? To hell?"

I played with his angel chain dangling in front of me. "I will think about it."

He growled and rolled on to his back. I shrieked and then giggled before adjusting myself properly and

lied on his chest. I sighed when he started moving inside me again.

"Tell me you will." His lips were thinned and anger was slowly raising in his eyes. For a moment I felt

like playing but I missed him so much for petty games.

I had my whole life to mock him for his childish adorable questions.

But not today.

I rolled my head to his shoulder. "You are a silly baby, Daddy. Of course I will. I will go wherever you

take me. Heaven, Hell, it does not matter. With you; that is all I want."

I dragged my lips all over his face and we were soon lost in pleasures.

"Come in me Robbie. Please."

I sighed in relief when I felt that deep filled warmth. He kept on thrusting even after, so a drop would not

be missed.

But his hold rapidly lost its strength around me.

My heart pained at Robbie's tired state. He was so lethargic to even clean me.

Shhhh... Sleep, Demon. Let me clean up real quick. I love you; need you, baby." I slipped out of the

bed, my legs shaking and staggering as cleaned myself before taking a warm washcloth to Robbie. I

had spilled on him and I had dripped his proof on his bad boy too, because he refused to let me go for

a long time.

I disposed the rag and cuddled to his chest.

We tried to fend off our sleep to have our normal sweet talks but tiredness got the best of us.

But it felt only a five minutes of rest when his alarm went off at four in the morning. He tried his very

best to slip out of my embrace without waking me up but I was hugging him like a Koala.

I had to blink several times to make my eyes obey me but I woke up with him.

"Already, Daddy? I can wait. It is too early for you to leave."

His forefinger brushed my lower lip then he did it once more with his thumb. "We talked about this,

baby. I have to go or I can't have that life with you. I promise you, all this wait, all this pain will be worth

it in the end." His voice was croaking with exhaustion, sleep and feelings.

I sniffled.

I helped him shower, get dressed, comb his hair and kissed him every few seconds. "When will you be

back?"

His lips brushed my forehead. "Soon."

Every step felt so heavy, yet I made him some black coffee and poured it in thermos for him to take.

"Go back to sleep, Angel." His thumb was rubbing on small of my back.

I nodded; my throat was tight with love. "I love you. I need you. Please, take care of yourself. I hurt

every time I hear you skipped meals."

"I got spoiled by you. So, now you are not cooking, all other food taste like sand."

I blushed and smiled. "You are a flirt."

"Only to my baby."

I leaned to his chest and we walked to our sleeping Lia. "Let her sleep. Does she cry so often?"

"She knows you are busy, but sometimes when she can't sleep... she expects you to sing and... she

waits."

I watched as daddy kissed our kid and slowly caressed her tiny body. He fixed her posture and covered

her with blanket. "Daddy has to go now. Be a good girl to Davey, Baby Angel. Daddy needs you."

One more time I had to push him out of the door with my aching heart.

Was all this pain really worth it? What if the divorce did not happen? What if the media got the best of

us?

But I was done.

I was done with being pathetic. I was done hiding. I could never go back to the way I used to be. I

wanted to show my love, my affection and care to Robbie every day. I had to or I would burst. I wanted

tell him everything my heart desired without remorse.

I wanted the whole world to know that Robert Brantley was mine.

I owned him.