The Mafia’s Wanted Desires

ASHLEY

I could feel it on my breath. I could feel it on my skin. I could taste it on my lips and it made it so difficult to swallow the saliva that had pooled in my mouth because it felt like a thousand needles were suddenly stuck in my throat and it made it such an impossible thing to gulp. I could see it whenever I shut my eyes and it tugged at the strings that held my sanity in place, wanting to rip it away from me.

The horror.

The dread.

The blood.

I could feel everything. It was as though the switch that controlled my emotions flickered to its highest. Heck, it felt like it was completely detached from the wall that housed it, stomped on repeatedly, and broken into pieces, leaving me with no control over how I felt. The air in the room felt hotter and tighter, closing in on me as I struggled to get a hold of my breath that was slowly leaving me.

I was sitting on the cold tiled floor in the room, my knees bunched up to my chest. My chest was constricted in pain and my breath came out in drags and wheezes as I dug my manicured fingers into my skin, drawing blood out of my wrists. I was incapacitated by the dread that shook me to the core. The gore wreaked havoc on me, shredding my sanity into the smallest bits I could barely piece back together.

Hot tears spilled from my eyes and I choked out a sob as I shut my eyes, the memory flashing in my mind, in a much clearer picture as I watched the dead body drop to the floor, his body drenched with blood and a gun in his hands. The lifelessness in his eyes when our eyes locked knocked the breath out of me again, my skin prickling with uncanny goosebumps, fear crawling up my spine.

He looked every bit of the monster that he was and that broke me. The searing sight was imprinted in my memory and I knew it wasn’t leaving any moment soon.

“Peach! Fuck! Open the door!” He hollered and I jumped off where I was sitting in fright, my face morphing into a much whiter color as though I had just encountered a ghost. I could hear his ragged and bruised breathing outside the door, rendering me immobilized where I stood.

For the first time since I walked in on that scene, I took in the spit that had built up in my mouth and gulped down its acidic taste that had my throat burning.

“Get away from me!” I screamed, tears blurring my vision.

“Peach, please…” He begged me and I shook my head as though he could see me.

“You killed him!”

“You are a monster!”

“You killed him!”

“Go away!”

I was crying and bawling my eyes out, unable to breathe as I hurled those words at him, all at once, not stopping to catch my breath.

“Just open the door and let me explain things to you!”

“Peach, baby, I would never hurt you! I swear!” He shouted, frantic, his voice coated with so much desperation that had my skin crawling with so much disgust, the blood flowing through my veins burning with so much that threatened to rip me apart.

I almost gave in to it.

“You have no excuse!”

“Get the fuck away from me!”ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“I don’t want to see you, Arden. Just go!” I bellowed, my legs giving me away and I dropped to the floor with a thud, digging my fingers into my hair and tugging at it, desperate for even any form of escape, so I wouldn’t stop feeling this pain that the scene had plunged me in.

“Peach__”

“FUCK OFF!” I growled, and after a while, he must have given up because I heard his footsteps recede until I couldn’t hear anything anymore, leaving me all alone.

The room became so quiet and the only thing that echoed through the vast space, sending me over the edge, was the erratic sounds that were emitted from me, tumbling out in loud wheezes that had my chest constrained in so much pain that it was more than what I could handle.

The silence in the room was deafening.

I couldn’t direct my focus on my breathing.

So, I just fell to the floor, my eyes shutting close as I gave in to the cold clutches of the darkness. A gentle knock sounded at the door, causing my eyes to flutter open, reluctantly. I shivered softly at the cold contact of the floor against my skin. I struggled to keep my eyes open as I willed myself to get up from the floor that had given me severe body aches. I groaned softly at the throbbing ache that settled in the sides of my head, pounding against it and threatening to split it into two. I sat up and looked down at the red shirt I was still wearing, a frown creasing on my face.

The knock sounded at the door again and this time around, I couldn’t control the irritation that seeped into me, wanting to engulf me in flames at how my skin prickled with disgust. I directed my heated gaze to the door, glaring at it.

“Mrs. Gray?” Alberta’s silvery voice penetrated the huge door that served as a barrier between us, seeping into my ears and heightening my frustration even more.

“What?!” I barked, my voice coated with a certain loudness I didn’t even know I possessed at this point.

“Uh…you haven’t come downstairs for dinner and I thought I should bring it over to you.” She divulged and my eyes went wide, wandering around the vast room and bemused at the fact that it was nightfall already.

How long was I out for?

“I am not hungry,” I mumbled grouchily.

“But Mr. Gray insisted__” I cut her off, refraining her from uttering his name.

“I don’t care what he says! Get away from my door right now and don’t fucking come back! I just want to be alone!” I yelled at her and heard her sigh.

“Mrs. Gray__”

“Don’t call me that!” I fired instantaneously.

“You have to eat, Mrs. Gray.” She persuaded, trying to coax me into giving in but I was past reasonable. I wanted her gone.

“I don’t want anything from that sick freak!”

“And if he is so concerned, he can shove the food up his ass. I don’t give a flying fuck!!!” I screamed, my voice cracking.

“Just get the fuck away from my door!” I added, screaming at the top of my lungs.

“I will just come back later.” She answered and I scoffed under my breath, rolling my eyes.

“Don’t come back!” I hollered.

He can choke on his million-dollar food all he wants. I wasn’t going to eat anything that was cooked in this house. I didn’t give a flying fuck if it sat well with him or not. I was a human being, not his property that he could toss around however he saw fit.