12 Letting Go
12 Letting Go
~Leo~
A week passed, and the reality of what had happened to me sank in.
I had sent Amanda home to her father, so I could mourn my wife. Max asked me to release her, but I couldn't. Releasing her meant I had given up on her and I didn't want to give up.
I didn't know if she was well or what they were doing to her there.
"We need to release her, or the Dark Alpha will see our mark on her as an act of defiance," Black warned me, but I couldn't.
I decided I would write a letter to the wolf lord. Pleading with him to give me back my wife and promising never to work or act against him.
I did not care if what I was doing was foolish, but I had to do something. I could not sit on my arse and mope. If he won't give her back, the least he can do is let me hear her voice and know that she is okay and happy where she is.
"You will be causing more harm than good. What if he sees it as an act of defiance? Did it ever occur to you that Tamia gave herself so we could live? The situation was terrible, Leo. We would have died; they would have killed all three of us. She chose the best option that kept us alive. Tamia is a smart woman; that is why we fell in love with her. She will take care of herself there, but she isn't coming back, Leo. Do not deceive yourself. Take the gift of life and peace that she gave us by sacrificing herself and make the most of it," Black said, and I roared.
"If I find that Devin," I said aloud, and Black growled.
"Now that bastard has a lot of explaining to do. He touches what is ours and then goes back on our deal with him with a flimsy excuse," Black said, agreeing with me.
I walked to my table in the living room. It was the only furniture there. I was yet to fix the place.
I sat with a pen and paper and decided to write a letter to the Wolf Lord. I was taking what my wolf said into consideration. The first letter was to Tamia.
"My Emerald Queen,
I am still going through the motions. I would be lying to you if I said I am handling it well. You knew I would have willingly died, but you did the right thing when I did not have the courage to do it. I could not leave things where we left off. I am sorry for everything. I tried, but my best wasn't good enough. I did not plan to have that baby with Amanda, it was sudden, and I would have willingly tried with you. I would have made an effort. I wanted to have a daughter that looked like you and had your strength. I guess fate really had it in for us when it messed up our happily ever after, and took you to the north. I pray you find peace and Joy there. I know it is crazy, but I hope you get to do all that you want. If he ever lets you go, know that you will always have a home with me. I will release you to make your life easier with the Wolf lord. I do not know what or who you will be there, but I pray that the same fate that destroyed us smiles on you there. I love you, Tamia; I always have and always will. Mountain will never have a luna again. Until I die. That is a promise that I will never break. Yours, Leo/ Black"
I read the letter several times, and each time, tears fell because it felt like I was letting go. I hated my life at those moments. I wished I could storm the north and get her back, but I knew that would be suicide for my entire pack and me or the region. I could not let her sacrifice be in vain.
I folded the letter and put it in an envelope. Then I started another letter addressed to the Wolf Lord, Sylvester Volkov.
"Your eminence,
I write to you in peace. I did not know of Brent Pack's crime against you and did not partake in it. Sadly, the entire east had to suffer the consequence. My wife gave herself up as a tribute to save my pack, my life and my fated. I do not write to make demands but to plead with you. She is the most precious possession in my life; now that she is with you, I am empty and alone. I love my wife dearly, and I plead with you to go easy on her. I know I dare not ask you to return her, but I plead with you to care for her. Our last few months together weren't good because I found my fated. Tamia has suffered enough. I do not know if it is too much to ask, but please take care of her. She likes to have coffee in the morning. She always goes on runs. When serving her hot chocolate, there has to be marshmallows in it. She prefers vanilla salts for her bath. She talks in her sleep whenever she is having a nightmare. I always wear her socks at night because her feet get cold, regardless of the weather. She doesn't eat after six in the evening, and she likes her privacy. She always acts brave, but deep down, she is sweet, innocent and loving. She speaks her mind most of the time and is a great critical thinker. Do not take her defiance as offensive. She is just herself. Please do not kill her fire. Allow it to burn brightly. I will release my wife to you after I have mourned her loss; please do not hurt her, and if you ever feel kindly towards her someday, let her go with dignity and pride. I am begging not as an Alpha but as a husband that has lost his wife to his betters. Please, your eminence, take care of Tamia."
I wrote, and tears streamed down my face with the last words. I did not want to admit to myself that she wasn't coming back. Even though I dared not try to take her back, this was the least I could do to make sure she was alright.
I folded the letter in an envelope and linked Casper, my Beta, to meet me at my house.
Casper arrived a few minutes after I had called him, and he was surprised to see the empty living room, with nothing but a table and chair.
"How is Amanda managing?" he asked, concerned for my fated.
"I sent her to spend some time with her father", I replied.
"Damn, Leo. You look like shit," Casper said, and I nodded.
"I feel like it, too," I said, and he had a sad smile.
"Thanks to her sacrifice, they didn't wipe us out. She will always be my Luna," He told me, speaking his truth, and I nodded because the same went for me.
"This is all Kyle's fault; he shouldn't be allowed to go free for bringing such cruelty upon us. The Dark Alpha only attacks when he is taunted. Why did Kyle attack a pack in the Western region?" He asked me, and I sighed.
"The bastard denies doing it," I replied.
"If he didn't, then someone did it in his name because the Dark Alpha's claims check out. The attackers said the east was bringing an end to his reign in the west. They claim they were trying to liberate the west from his oppression. The men that were captured said it was Alpha Kyle who ordered them to do it. They were his warriors, Alpha," Casper said because I asked him to investigate Devin and Kyle.
"What about Devin?" I asked.
"His excuse checks out. The north attacked the south because they knew of their alliance with the east," He said, and I growled. I wanted to find his faults so I could go after the bastard, Bane or whatever he called himself; I was sure he bled the same as all of us. I would have found a way to enact my revenge. Têxt belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
"I need you to mail this to the north," I said, handing him my letters. Casper looked worried and afraid of the content of the letter.
"Do not worry, Casper, it is a farewell to my wife and a plea to the Wolf Lord," I said.
He collected it and left.
Three days later, I learned Devin was around, and we were all summoned for a meeting. I was eager to go. I might have given him some respect in the past, but he didn't have my respect anymore.
I arrived at the party, and there was an uproar. Everyone was still grieving their loss; even Max was grieving Avery. Sometimes I believed he was psychotic.
I knew he did not treat his luna well, I wondered why he was grieving her, but it wasn't my place to ask.
I saw Devin where he was listening to everyone's complaints, and I walked up to him. He was about to speak when I punched him hard in the face.
"That is for flirting with my wife," I said, wanting to do it since the night he danced with her. I sent another one again.
"That is for abandoning your duty and making me lose my wife in the process," I said, and he was in shock.
"Tamia is dead?" He asked, looking pained to his soul.
"No, arsehole, she was taken as a trophy," I said, and other Alphas came to hold me. I watched rage rise in his eyes.
"They took her? We must get her back, Leo," he said
"You and what Army? After what happened in our region, we should lick our wounds and move on. There is no way we can defeat that madman. We have lost enough. We lost things we can never recover; people we love. There is no point walking down that road again," Alpha Christian said, and others agreed with him.
"The Wolf Lord does not rest. He will find a reason to return until he owns this region fully," Devin said, and I laughed.
"He already owns this region. Why do you think he took the Lunas of the three most powerful packs in the east? To stake his claim. I know we will hear from him soon," I said to stupid Devin.
"We can act before he decides to station his men here," Devin argued.
"I do not have anything else to give, Devin." I said, feeling defeated.
"Alpha Kyle did not attack the west. the Wolf lord just needed a reason to attack here. That is his method. He is sick like his father. He will be no different, trust me. He will return for your region if we sit around licking our wounds. We have to take the battle to him.
"And then what?" I asked him,
"Just because you are skilled does not make you an expert in these things. I am beginning to think you got to where you are by luck," I said, and Devin growled at me.
"My kindness towards you is because of Tamia, do not stretch it, Leo. I am warning you. Your wife was an amazing woman, however brief our meeting was. It wasn't like you had any respect for her. You had another woman in your arms when I saw you. You introduced that woman as your mate, so don't come here pretending to be wounded by this." He said, and as unfair and untrue his words about my emotions were, my actions were the same.
"I think we should leave well enough alone and comply," Alpha Christain said.
I decided to walk out of the meeting.
Alpha Ramzey accosted me, as always.
"When is Amanda returning to you? You should marry her now that Tamia is gone," he said, and I shook my head. The incident was still fresh.
"So quick, Ramzey. I will never marry Amanda. Fate might have wielded it. I have fulfilled all obligations to her, but I will never marry her. Mountain will only have one luna in my lifetime, and that will be Tamia. Tell Amanda she can come home if she wants to." I said and stepped to the old man.
"Let this be the last time you will approach me like this again. I do not want you to ever speak of my personal life again," I warned him and walked away. Whatever they planned on doing in that meeting would no longer concern me. I have made peace with the Wolf lord, and I will not look for his trouble for Tamia's sake.