Chapter 67
Aidan
Black. Sadness. Respect.
The amount of people being here shows just how much he was a good man. A great man. A father and a loving husband-he is going to be talk of the city and there's no one going to deny the goodness he had when he was alive. There's no better reason why... there's no need for any reasons at all. Not even one.
John deserved better. He didn't deserve to die this way; no one would deserve this way. His family doesn't deserve to feel this pain and he certainly didn't have to live like this. Either way, John... rest in peace. You were the best father I never had-I saw how much you loved Kenna and Julia with all of your heart, I saw her grew up to be the most beautiful woman and I saw how well you took care of your girls. You deserved more.
I look around to see the look on their faces, eyes swollen, tears drying and heart breaking. It's not a sight worth seeing as it keeps on making my heart ache; especially by looking down at Kenna as she leans closer towards me, my arm around her waist, wanting to keep her safe and wanting to give her support.
My lips lay onto the top of her head before pulling her closer, wanting her to know that I'll always be here for her, no matter what. She will always have me by her side as she lives her life, no matter how. She won't come across another day without me being a part of me, no matter why.
"I can't," She mutters under her breath as she looks up at me, her eyes are bloodshot red and her face somehow appears slimmer. "I can't stay here." She adds.
I nod my head as I grab onto her hand, "Do you want to leave?"
"Yes. I want to be anywhere but here," She replies, her eyes showing desperation as her fingers tremble due to the fear glinting, deep in her blue eyes. The way she leans onto me and the way her hands grab tightly onto my arm shows how anxiety is taking control.
It doesn't take me long to take her away from there, away from the grave and away from the crowd. She doesn't need to force herself to stand there in sadness because her legs were giving out, her heart was beating faster than usual and her lips were slightly trembling, she was going to pass out-she was going to break apart, I saw the pain she wanted to hide.
We step inside my car, closing the door to block any sound coming from outside.
I immediately cup onto her face as try to meet her eyes, "Look at me... hey, look at me." My lips curve up into a small smile before her blue eyes actually pierce into mine. "You don't have to force yourself, okay? You don't have to hold it in. You don't have to hide it away. You can show me everything, Kenna. You can show me the pain and I'd still be here with you," My voice almost inaudible as the tears slip from her eyes, down her cheeks.
"Why him? Why now?" She sobs, wrapping her arms around my neck as I pull her close; quickly wrapping mine around her body, securing her.
Her sobs are only getting louder as I soothingly rub onto her back, snuggling closer towards her by letting her place her chin on my shoulder-letting her tears wet my shirt as we both stay in an embrace, pouring her every amount of sadness; something she has been trying to hide since she found out about his death.
--
The ride home to Julia and John's apartment was quiet, neither of us said a word but it was a comfortable silent. We both needed that kind of treatment especially Kenna because she knew the pain was eating her alive and all she ever needed was a moment of silence; something to clear her head from all of those unwanted thoughts.
I watch as she walks up the stairs, slowly which worries me as I follow her. She pushes onto her bedroom door open, some things unchanged and somehow remaining the same ever since she moved out of this house and decided to get her own apartment.
My eyes remain onto the back of her body, the way her shoulders drop as she sighs deeply and how her eyes just stare into oblivion-not as lively as how they used to be. Even if I stand still at the same spot for exactly five minutes, she doesn't seem to move either. She doesn't seem to notice anyone being in the room.
I sit beside her onto the bed, grabbing onto her hand which catches her attention; making her turn to look at me, her blue eyes are staring deeply into my brown ones.
We don't say a single word as we just stare at each other, appreciating the silence around us before placing her head on my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist-closing her eyes due to the comfort. I, on the other hand, starts to play with the tips of her hair, wanting for this moment to remain . . . somehow wanting a different situation, though.
It took me awhile to realise that her arms around my waist have somehow loosen and her head is almost falling down onto my thighs which causes me to slowly place her property onto the bed, taking in her features, again. The way her thick eyelashes are tightly closed and her lips are somewhat slightly ajar, there's exhaustion written all over
her face.
I run my thumb onto her fallen tears, wiping them away.
Just like that, I remain seated beside her as I watch her sleep after slowly pulling onto her favourite blanket and place it up to her waist. I look down at her chest moving up and down, calmly and for some reason, it eases me to know just how much this can be her escape. Escape from the pain she hated.
My right hand goes to grab onto hers, gripping tightly as I look down at the wedding ring on her finger-remembering back when John met me a week before the wedding:
"You love my daughter, right? More
than enough that you want to marry her?" John asks as he stops to look at me. "I don't want a maybe... I want a certain answer where I can just be sure that you will take good care of her. Don't get me wrong, you've always been a good friend to her and you've never once made her unhappy but... marriage is a lifetime promise, Aidan. Can you promise to keep her happy, for the rest of your life?" He asks, again.
My lips are somehow sealed, unsure of the words I'm about to let slip but I nod.
"I really love her, John. More than you can imagine," I breathe out, the lie slipping out of my lips was somehow clear and honest-it slipped away from his mind that I was lying, I was just faking this whole thing and our marriage is based on something we both agreed on. "I don't have to worry, then." He chuckles as we both continue to walk out of the fancy restaurant.
"I hate lying, Kenna. Truth be told... I don't want to lie." I mutter under my breath as my eyes remain onto the wedding ring, "But, why do I have to lie? Why do we have to keep on doing this when we know that we don't have to? We don't need to. We can just admit the truth,"This belongs to NôvelDrama.Org: ©.
I clench my jaw as I let out a deep breath, "Don't tell me that this is a one-sided thing because you were there. You wanted what I wanted. We want the same thing. We're just stupid and scared... even when we're no longer kids." I soothingly rub onto the back of her hand, seeing her body staying still and still sleeping soundly.
"What if I say it?" I furrow my brows.
"What if I say that I want more than this? Would you want that too?" I let the words slip without any intention of taking them back because I know how much of a fool I am. There's nothing better than confessing the truth but I'm a coward... a damn coward.