Chapter 33 Anguish
Chapter 33 Anguish
“He’s a bastard!” Dawson is beside himself. He screams as if a dagger has been plunged into his chest. “I’m going to kill him!”
“Dawson, that’s an extreme sentence. Calm down,” I try to calm him down, but I know it’s impossible. It’s like having a Lion in a cage. Seeing the key to the lock on the door, he will do whatever it takes to escape and break free from his prison.
“Strong?!” he exclaims, raging. He spits out the words as if they weigh heavily in his mouth. “Strong? Strong is that that bastard is not in jail. Strong is that you...” he steps closer and points his index finger at me. Automatically, I recoil. His eyes, like light blue as Darío’s, shine so bright they scare me, “Knowing what he did to Teresa, you did nothing to remedy it.”
“Oh no, don’t you dare hold me responsible.” Exasperated and on the verge of losing my temper, I slap his finger and shake it off. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! You don’t know anything, Dawson. You don’t understand anything. And that’s why you’re here, talking to me and not Teresa.” Thanks to his silence, I know I’ve hit the nail on the head.
He watches me, furious. He is upset and, more than anything feels betrayed. I share and understand his helplessness, as that’s how I felt when Teresa confessed to me what Lucian tried to do to her that night. Dawson was somewhat right to be upset. Most people who have experienced attempted sexual abuse and do not report it to the police are likely to go through it again. The initial trauma haunts them, then that abusive son of a bitch may try to finish what he started and couldn’t accomplish at the time. However, Teresa just wanted to walk away, to stay off Lucian’s radar. I foolishly believed that, upon marrying Darío, Lucian would throw in the towel and never come back into our lives. I was dead wrong.
“I know I should have helped her, but she wouldn’t let me. She met you and wanted to get away from it all, from the town, from our parents, from the neighbors. So she decided, as a way of coping, to get the hell out of here, never to return.” I hug myself to contain the shudder I suddenly feel as I consider never
seeing my sister again. She is the one being affected in her life in general, even though the abuse didn’t occur. It will always be a reminder.
Darío is still, so still, I almost don’t think he’s breathing. Dawson follows the direction of my gaze and clenches his fists just before slamming one of them against the adjoining wall.
“Goddamn it! Fucking fuck! Fuck!” My eyes widen at the roar he makes as his knuckles hit the concrete. His hand slowly reddens.
“Dawson...”
“Tatiana.” Darío gets up from the chair, and I stand in front of him, so he doesn’t have to walk so far in my pursuit, “let him get it off his chest.”
“Banging on the wall won’t solve the problem.” My voice sounds wryer and doesn’t emphasize what I intended. I earn a rabid glare from Dawson. “I didn’t mean...”
“Which the hell would you rather, a fist in the wall or a bullet in the middle of your ex-boyfriend’s chest?” Now he’s the one hurting me with his words.
He has said it intending to hurt me. I press my lips together until they hurt. I must control myself for the sake of our relationship. We are a family now.
“He’s right,” Darío speaks, convinced as if his words have all the logic in the world. “Better the wall than that bastard’s face.”
“How could you not notice? How could you be there with her, and all that time not know something had happened between them? Why didn’t you care about Teresa?” Each question is like a hammer blow to my heart. A migraine rises without warning and settles in, rejoicing in my suffering.
I hold my breath and look at him, sad. I asked myself that same question for days. Why didn’t I see the details? How come I didn’t know she hated Lucian after getting along with him for years? Did he plan it for a long time? Did he think about how to rape my sister while trying to sleep with me? God, this is hell!
I drop into Darío’s arms seeking his comfort. I hear Dawson curse. Meanwhile, my husband’s arms wrap around me, and he whispers words of comfort in my ear. I can’t help but hate myself now. Hate me for being the world’s worst big sister, for not knowing how to read the signs and realize in time Lucian’s interest in Teresa. He’s a pig, a bastard who deserves to be behind bars. My body convulses from crying. The spasms don’t stop. I cry until I am nothing but a trembling body full of remorse.
“Tati...”
“You’d better leave us alone, brother. Now is not the best time,” Darío tells him. His voice is low and hoarse. He is angry. I can’t see his face because my head is hidden in his chest, and his hands are holding me tightly.
I know that if he lets go of me, I will fall to the ground because my legs will not be able to support the weight of my sins. The worst sin I could have ever committed in my life: trusting someone as wretched as Lucian. I failed terribly in my role as a big sister. I don’t understand why what Dawson said affects me so much. I keep sobbing and shuddering in my husband’s arms.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to...”
“Go away, Dawson. There will be time for that later. Tatiana is in no condition to get upset, let alone suffer. It doesn’t suit her condition...” He remains silent, and I feel his body tense up.
Dawson doesn’t know it yet.
“Darío?” his twin blurts out.
Could it be that he’s not ready to share the news with anyone else? Has he painted a screen for me? Was it just an elaborate act, and he’s really not happy with the news that we’re going to be parents?
“You’ll be an uncle... again,” Darío informs and kisses the crown of my head.
I sigh and relax my body. He held his breath, and I didn’t notice. He waited to blurt out that answer Dawson and I had been waiting so long for.
“Mother of God, you guys really don’t waste any time!” I feel his arms around my back. Our bodies melt together, and I slowly calm down. “You’ll be the best parents in the world! How happy I am for you, brother!” he pulls away from us.
I pull away from Darío’s chest a little to look Dawson in the eye and tell him what’s on my mind. However, he interrupts me just as I open my mouth and reaches over to kiss me on each side of my cheek.
“You are an exceptional woman. I can’t imagine my brother with anyone else but you. In such a short time, you have earned my trust and support. Count on me for whatever you need.”
I clear my throat, confused and about to burst into tears again.
“Th-thank you, Dawson.” Again, the tears.
Won’t they stop?
“Don’t thank me. You’re my sister now. Thank you for this gift.” He wipes my tears tenderly with a smile, though his gesture doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
He had lost that glow, that electrifying color that made him so different from Darío when I came into both of their lives over a month ago. Twenty-four hours have been enough to change the jovial Dawson Magghio.
“Don’t force Teresa.” I don’t know why I’m telling him, but I have a desire to explode and ask him to go easy. “Don’t bore her with your questions, and don’t fill her with pain. She’s had enough. Go easy. Talk to her.” I clasp his hands between mine and see him for the first time as a helpless boy who doesn’t know what to do. “If her love is strong, she will learn to trust you and come back to your side.”
“What if she doesn’t?” he questions hesitantly after a long silence, where his heavy, cold hands pull away from mine and shelter in the pockets of his gray cloth pants. “What if I can’t convince her to come back to me? What if she won’t let me protect her from that son of a bitch?”
With a sigh, I let the heavy air out of my lungs. Darío wraps his arms around my waist. My hand, which is attached to the hydration and heart rate counting machine, throbs and burns from how I’ve handled it these past few minutes.
“You let her go,” Darío answers for me. “Let her be free. Let her fly away from you and her painful memory.” I nod sadly. Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g
Dawson ducks his head.
I clench my jaw, and my teeth almost grind from the force I apply to him.
“But first, I’ll make sure Lucian pays for what he did to her and that he never comes near her again.” Dawson raises his head, and that malicious glare roars back like a phoenix from the ashes.
“We’ll make him pay.”
“He’ll regret messing with someone I love,” Dawson nods with a silent but weighty promise.
He won’t rest until he makes Lucian pay for what he did to my sister. I certainly won’t stand in his way.
Dawson leaves after saying goodbye to us. I stay in Darío’s arms for a while longer. His warmth soothes me and makes me think that nothing can go wrong in this world. However, I know I am wrong. So many things can go wrong because we are children of the damned destiny. Even though we create our path and destiny, the actions of others will play an important role in our life. As much as we may want to keep those decisions from affecting us, they end up irrevocably marking us.
I lie down on the bed, and Darío keeps holding my hand.
“Lie down with me, please,” I ask him and let out a yawn. I feel exhausted. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’m where I’m supposed to be.” I move over and make room for him on the bed. “Soon, we’ll go home, and I’ll show you how much I love you.”
“I already know that.” I kiss his cheek, his nose, and his forehead. “You’ve shown me already.”
“I’ll never tire of doing it,” he whispers when our lips meet, at last, joining in a long, lingering kiss, full of absolute love and trust. “You are my dragonfly.”
“It seems that’s true,” I remember our conversation at the lake the first night we spoke and when we made love as if tomorrow didn’t matter.
“What’s that, princess?” He caresses the back of my neck.
“I asked you why I didn’t meet you some other time.”
“And I answered you that it happened at the right time.”
I smile. I see that face so full of peace and love, a reflection of what we both feel. No matter the adversities, I know he will be there with me. Without hesitation, I will be there for him.
“I love you.”
“And I love you, my beautiful dragonfly.”