Chapter 59
Chapter 59
Anger.
It’s a feeling that’s ever present, hidden beneath the depths, ready to resurface at any given moment. Nevertheless, I have become adept at burying it within myself, refusing to acknowledge its existence, as I am fully aware of the potential severe ramifications that could arise if I went to let it surface.
In contrast to those who wear their hearts on their sleeves, I prefer to keep my emotions guarded, rarely voicing my opinions or expressing anger openly. No, I’m completely different. I’m the quiet one, the one who keeps her thoughts and feelings to herself, who puts on a brave face even when everything inside is falling apart.
It’s been a tough lesson, but I now understand that anger is not the solution to any problem. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m a nobody in my pack, with no family to speak of and no one to turn to for support. If anything, it would only make things worse, give them a reason to banish me or punish me for causing trouble.
But just because I don’t show my anger doesn’t mean it’s not there. Simmering just beneath the surface, it waits patiently for the tiniest spark to set it ablaze, turning it into an uncontrollable inferno. And when it happens, it crashes over you like a tidal wave, overpowering and engulfing, obliterating everything in its wake.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve felt that familiar surge of anger, its powerful grip tightening around me, suffocating my every thought. This feeling has become a constant companion on my journey through life, a familiar presence that never leaves my side.
Sometimes, it’s the small, insignificant details that push me over the edge. Like when Nadia refuses to eat the food we offer her, or when Sammy snaps at me for no reason at all. A fiery sensation ignites within me, growing more intense with every second, until it reaches a point of uncontrollable release.
However, it’s not solely the trivial matters that provoke my anger; there are also significant factors at play. The bigger issues weigh heavily on me as well, such as the way my pack belittles me, making me feel unworthy of their respect or attention. The way they cast their judgmental glances, as if I’m a pitiful creature not deserving of their precious time, is disheartening
And well, when my anger takes over, the situation quickly spirals out of control.
I make an effort to suppress it, to regulate its magnitude, but at times, it becomes unmanageable. At times, it overtakes me completely, submerging met in its intensity, distorting my vision and overwhelming my ability to reason, leaving only the scorching fury coursing through my veins. My memory of that moment is hazy, with only fleeting glimpses of images and sounds that felt like sharp shards of glass in my mind.
I remember feeling the anger building up inside me, like a pressure cooker about to explode. I can’t forget the look of fear and disbelief in Nadia’s eyes.
And then, everything just goes dark.
When I wake up again, everything is blurry, like I’m seeing the world through a foggy lens. I blink, my eyes struggling to adjust, desperately trying to comprehend the chaos unfolding before me. And then, gradually, the blurry shapes start to sharpen into clear images.
Sammy’s face appeared before me, her eyes filled with concern and her brows furrowed in worry. As I look at her, I can see the determination in her eyes, as she clings to me tightly, as if she’s the only thing keeping me from drifting away. A surge of adrenaline courses through me, causing my heart to pound In my chest. I suddenly notice that my arms are raised in the air, fists clenched tightly.
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And then I see Nadia.
Her hand trembled as she pressed it against her bruised cheek, her tears falling relentlessly onto the ground, I can see the shock and pain in her wide eyes, and it instantly triggers a pang of guilt within the
What have I done?
Regret washed over me like a tidal wave.
Wed, 19 Jun
My attempts to sit up are met with dizziness and trembling, a result of the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the fear gripping me tightly. Through the haze, Sammy’s voice slices through, its resonance fading into a faint echo in my ears.
“Maya, are you okay?”
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My head shakes in disbelief, my mouth opening and closing without producing any coherent words. It feels as if a tidal wave of memories has hit me, knocking me off balance, I remember the anger, the intense rage that coursed through my veins, making my heart pound.
The memory is vivid in my mind – the forceful impact of my blow, the piercing sound of Nadia’s cry resonating in my ears,
My vision becomes blurry as
as tears stre
stream d
down my face, their heat and sting intensifying against my cheeks. I never wanted to hurt anyone, especially not Nadia. She may have been a challenge to deal with, but she certainly didn’t deserve such treatment. This is something that nobody should have to
endure.
Wanting to make things right, my hand trembles as I extend it towards her in a gesture of apology. Nadia’s reaction was immediate – a flinch, followed by a gasp, as she hastily crawled backwards in an effort to put some distance between us. I barely have time to react when Sammy grabs hold of me, her grip unwavering and determined.
“Don’t,” she says, her voice sharp with warning. “You need to calm down first.”
I nod, feeling the lump in my throat grow, but I swallow it back. She’s right. I need to get myself together, to regain control of my emotions. But how can do that when my heart is weighed down by guilt and shame?
Slowly, the fog in my mind starts to clear, revealing our location in the clearing, where the sounds of chirping birds and rustling leaves remind me of the surrounding forest. As their eyes lock onto me, filled with judgment, I instinctively shrink away, desperately wishing to fade into the background.
Trying to steady my nerves, I take a deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs as I prepare myself to confront the aftermath of my choices.
Pushing myself up slowly, I feel the weakness in my legs, causing them to wobble beneath me. My eyes briefly meet Nadia’s, but she quickly looks away, her gaze filled with anguish, avoiding any further connection. A wave of guilt washes over me, causing my heart to twist, and I fight back tears, yearning
to reverse the past.
But I can’t. My only course of action now is to make amends, offer a sincere apology, and hold onto hope that Nadia will find it in her heart to forgive me. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to happen overnight–that much I know.
Looking into Nadia’s eyes, I can see the tears pooling, reflecting the pain she’s feeling. Time seems to stand still for a moment, a hushed silence filling the space as she contemplates what I’ve said. And then, slowly, her lips curl into a sneer, her eyes narrowing as her expression becomes slightly more hardened.
“Leave me the fuck alone, Maya. Don’t make me say
that twice.”
Wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand, Nadia stood up from the ground. My eyes were fixed on her every move, my heart racing with anticipation, uncertain of what would unfold next. There was a fleeting moment where she appeared to be contemplating her choices, before ultimately choosing to turn her back on me. Property © of NôvelDrama.Org.
I was about to reach out to her, about to express my thoughts, but before I could find the right words, she spoke up. As she spoke, her voice was quiet, almost a whisper, but the weight of her words filled the space between us like a heavy shroud.
“If you ever lay a hand on me again,” she began, her voice trembling with emotion, “I’ll ensure that your hand remains incapacitated for the rest of your
The impact of her words felt like a sudden blow to my stomach, leaving me dizzy and gasping for air. The familiar sensation of bears welling up overwhelmed me, but I fought against them, refusing to let them stream down my face. I couldn’t afford to show weakness now, not when gepthing was hanging in the balance. The weight of the situation pressed down on me.
As my anger grew, it consumed me like a wildfire, its intensity and heat impossible to contain. After everything I had done for he
16:41 Wed, 19 Jun G BG
had the audacity to threaten me.
“Are you serious?” I spat, my voice dripping with venom. “After everything we’ve done for you, you have the nerve to threaten me?”
Without a single word, Nadia stood in silence, her back stubbornly turned towards me. My heart pounding, I cautiously took a step forward, feeling my hands shake with nerves.
“You would have died out here if Sammy and I hadn’t taken care of you,” My voice cracked with raw emotion as I continued, feeling the weight of my frustration as I threw my hands up in the air. “Do you even realize that?”
I wanted to shake her, to jolt her out of her obliviousness and make her realize the seriousness of the situation. However, deep down, I understood that it would serve no purpose. No matter what I said or did, Nadia remained resolute in her decision. As I turned away from her, a heavy sigh escaped my lips, and I could feel the weight of sorrow and regret weighing me down.
Interrupting my thoughts, Sammy’s voice pierced the silence, leaving her question hovering in the air like a dense cloud.
“What are we going to do?”
My heart pounded in my chest as I stood there, desperately trying to piece together a plan in my racing mind. But before I could even think of a reply, a sudden burst of anger ignited within me, driving me forward towards Nadia with an unyielding resolve.
Nadia’s body language shifted as I got closer, her stance becoming more defensive and her expression clearly showing defiance. But I stood my ground, refusing to back down. My attempt to grab her arm was met with a surprising and powerful slap, causing my hand to recoil in shock.
Anger surged through me, but I made a deliberate choice not to let it overpower my emotions. Instead, linhaled deeply, attempting to calm my pounding
heart.
“You can be angry all you want,” I said, my voice firm and unwavering. “But we’re leaving for Blackacre right now.”
Nadia’s eyes widened in shock upon hearing my words, yet her reaction remained hidden as she maintained a stoic and unreadable expression. I took another step forward, my gaze locked with hers.
“If you don’t want to come, then fine, I continued, my voice tinged with bitterness. “But don’t expect us to stay here and watch you waste away.”
I could see a flicker of hesitation in her eyes, as if she was considering voicing her disagreement. The sound of Sammy’s anxious voice echoed in my ears, but I paid no attention, my sole focus on Nadia in that moment. The war of emotions was visible in her eyes, reflecting the inner turmoil she was experiencing. Right now, I don’t give a damn about anything. With Axton waiting for us, I felt a sense of urgency to reach Blackacre as quickly as possible.
Much to my surprise, she responded with a simple nod, her face contorted in anger.
“Fine,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s go.”