My Second Chance

Chapter 30: #30 No Backing Out

Ryder's P.O.V

Something was bugging me.

I glanced over to Sapphire and Clover who were watching television. The relationship between them seemed... different. It's like they are able to communicate with mind link. But she's not Luna yet so that's not possible... It's like when Clover transformed, they became closer. Mentally and physically. See, and now Clover has a pissed off expression for no reason.

And then, there's something fishy about what happened yesterday. I was talking about the white wolf thing and not the walking back half naked thing. No wrong ideas...

But I wouldn't mind if she was fully naked, Jay waggled his eyebrows and send me some perverted talks about my mate. Our mate, he corrected. Whatever, I scoffed. I pushed the thoughts out of the way and continued with my thinking.

Shocker, I know.

I mean, normal werewolves transforming uses a lot of energy, some don't even survive. But she... She's a white wolf! It takes a hell lot of energy. How did she make it and even have the strength to walk back to the pack house? Nobody... and I mean nobody, can do that. I kept looking at Clover at the corner of my eye. Then, something clicked in me.

Sapphire's a hybrid. I felt it right when we met. But what kind? What's so powerful to chanel energy from themselves to someone else? Before I could stop it, the question slipped out of my mouth. This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

"Sapph, I totally forgot about this matter and all. But what kind of hybrid are you?"

Sapphire's P.O.V

I still think you should tell him, Clover said.

Since the energy channeling and all, surprisingly, I can mind link with Clover. Pretty cool huh? Not.

Are you crazy? I hissed at her. No, I'm not. And you know that it's the right thing to do, Clover huffed at me. Sorry dudette, not happening. Our relationship is in stake, I grumbled, glancing at Ryder for a second. It's either already at stake you know, She rolled her eyes. Thanks for making me feel better, I growled. Seriously, we'll be able to find a way out of this for you... You just have to tell him, please Sapph... Please, Clover pleaded. No Clover, I'm not risking anything, I snapped. How are you suppose to have friends then? If I didn't find it out yesterday, are you even going to tell me? She growled. I kept quiet, knowing that I wouldn't. I thought so, Clover snapped. Judging from the look on her face, she looked pissed off, like really, pissed off. Is she also PMSing? Cause I was kinda sure you're the only one here, Drew smirked. Shut up, I snapped. Someone's snappy, Gwen mumbled.

I saw Ryder move a little out of the corner of my eye. Something's bothering him, Gwen said. Yeah, I know, I muttered as I continued to observe him. Did he figure out something strange about yesterday's incident? My heart started beating a tad faster. Calm down, I don't think he's smart enough for that, Drew smirked. Hey, Gwen protested at the indirect insult. I'm not saying anything about you, Drew drawled. But Ryder's our other half, Gwen grumbled. Oh you know what I mean, Drew sighed in frustration and Gwen grinned cheekily at her.

"Sapph, I totally forgot about this matter and all. But what kind of hybrid are you?"

I fell off the couch in surprise. Clover snorted at my sudden weakness. "Shut up." I mumbled and stood up. "Sapph?" Ryder furrowed his eyebrows.

I take back what I said, he is smart enough, Drew muttered.

I spinned to face him. "Uhhh..." I drawled. "Sapphire Jackson." He growled. Okay, I'm freaking out now, Gwen whimpered. He knows we're hiding something, no point of hiding stuff anymore, Drew sighed in

defeat. Oh shut it, I mumbled. "Sapphire Beyonce Jackson." He growled, eyes turning a shade darker. "Ummm... Uhh..." I stuttered. "You better tell me what you've been hiding since you got here till this fucking minute." He growled, standing up and taking an intimating step towards me. I gulped.

"Clover, leave us for a moment." Ryder said, his voice deep and full of control, his eyes never leaving mine. Shit, the protective and possessive Alpha side is coming out. And let me tell you, Alpha's like knowing everything.

Clover gave me a small smile and left without a word, knowing well that this was my fight. Well, shits gonna happen.

"Sapphire." He growled as the door shut behind Clover. "What, no Sapph? No kitten?" I laughed nervously. "I don't want to act lovey dovey with someone who doesn't trust me. I'm fine with something steady, but it won't work out if you never trust me." His beautiful grey eyes turning almost pitch black. His words was like a knife who stabbed me repeatedly in the middle of my heart. Right in the middle.

I saw hurt, possessiveness, anger and something which scared me with its intensity... love. I didn't need him to mark me to know that, I see it everytime I look into his eyes.

I wanted to tell him I love him so badly. That I've never not trusted him. That if he told me the earth was actually square and not round, believe it or not, I would've believed him. That's how far I've gone.

And it scared me.

Here's your last chance of changing decisions, Drew reminded gently. I feel a war brewing inside me. So what is it? Gwen mumbled. The mental debate I was having gave me a little migraine. This is your last chance. You can either leave tomorrow like planned or tell him and solve it together, Drew said calmly.

"Sapphire Beyonce Jackson, answer me when I'm talking to you!" He roared in anger. His Alpha side is out. I've never seen him so angry, to tell the truth, it scared me shitless. I made a decision and it would hurt me to see the hurt on his face. But I won't see it, because I would be thousand miles away by then. But... We won't be able to see him, or smell his scent anymore... Gwen whined. Shut up Gwen. I've enough pressure! I snapped. Fine, she snapped right back and moved to the furthest spot of my mind. Whatever you choose, the choice is yours, Drew said quietly and blocked herself from me.

I forced the tears to not drop from my eyes. I willed a stone wall in my mind. I made my face expressionless.

No backing out now Sapphire...

I looked up at him and forced words I never wanted to use out of my mouth.

"I never loved you."

That's not true... my mind whispered. My facade almost fell when I saw the hurt on his face. He didn't even bother to cover it. For a minute, his eyes shifted back to his original colour. Then it turned to black. The hurt was replaced by anger. Anger directed at me. I nearly flinched but managed to keep a blank look, as if none of this bothered me.

"You don't have a say in this! You are my mate! The Luna of this pack!" He growled. I forced a smirk onto my face, although it hurts me more than I imagined. "That's where you are wrong honey. I have a choice." I smiled sickly. I saw fear flash in Ryder's eyes. That's when I felt something stirring in me. Something evil. Something... dark. The evil side of me. Whatever it was, it helped me say the next line even easily. So easily that it scared me.

"I, Sapphire Beyonce Jackson, reject Ryder Jame Black as my mate."

The hurt on his face send raw fear through me. He looked as if he got shot by a gun with several silver bullet. I willed the tears that were threateningly trying to escape my eyes back in. Gwen howled in pain and I could feel Drew herself feel sadness. "I'm sorry. But..." I took very ounce of energy I had to say the next sentence that held 0% truth. "I don't.. love you like that."

I could feel the urge to scream into a pillow overwhelm me. I could feel my heart beating rapidly till it almost broke. I could feel the pain of losing my mate. I could feel my strong facade slightly waver. I could feel the raw fear of losing someone important again shoot through me. Like Willow, Bella... most importantly, my mum... The beautiful and strong woman who I grew in her womb for ten months... then killed. I felt my throat clogging up with guilt. For both my mum and the guy I loved. The guy I would willingly put my heart on a silver platter for and would do the same for me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered before turning and running up the stairs.

I didn't hear any footsteps, implying that he hadn't followed me. It hurt, but not much as I hurt him. I had leaded him on, to the point of not going back, and now I'm leaving him... alone, with a broken heart...

I felt the tears which I held back gor so long rolled down my cheeks. A sob escaped my mouth as the whole situation sank in. I just rejected my mate. After I told him I would take a chance with him. My heart became heavier with guilt. I felt a stabbing pain in my heart which I skillfully ignored. Gwen was still howling in sadness.

I dodged people in he hallways. They were all looking at me weirdly, some even tried comforting me, which I brushed away.

A hand caught my arm and I turned ready to snap at whoever who stopped me. "Sapph? What's wrong? What happened? Is it Ryder?" I focused my blurry vision on the two people in beside me. Cole and Alex. They both looked at me worriedly. I have no rights. They were Ryder's best friends. It felt wrong when they cared for me when I had just hurt their best friend. I shifted my eyes from theirs and

shook off Alex's hand. "Sapph, what's wrong?" Cole asked softly. By now, people were stopping to watch. I shook my head and wiped the tears off my face. "Why would I be not okay?" I growled. "Umm... because you are running in the hallways with tears streaking down your cheeks?" Alex said sarcastically. "Do not try me now." I snarled. He raised his hands in the air, making a surrendering gesture. Cole elbowed his ribs in warning.

A comforting hand was placed on my shoulder. I swung my fist in irritation at the person behind me. A dainty hand grabbed my fist before it smashed against her nose.

"I'm so lucky you taught me that move earlier." A familiar voice muttered. "Clover?" I asked, my vision blurry with a new batch of tears. "In the flesh." She smiled sadly as I hugged and cried into her shoulder. "What's wrong with her?" Cole whispered. I saw Alex shrug in the corner of an eye. "Do you wanna get your things and sleep in my room?" She asked, rubbing my back in circles soothingly. "Yes." I hiccuped. "Come on. Let's go." She tugged slightly at my hand and I lifted my head from her shoulder.

"Wait. As second in command, I need to know things." Alex frowned. "Let's just go." Clover pulled me down the hallways towards mine and Ryder's room. Well... now his room. I felt a painful tugging at my heart at his name. "Clover, there are consequences if you don't obey me." He yelled after us. Clover stopped in her tracks to face the boys. "Kill me then. But not now, I have a friend in need. And don't fucking use that second in command shit on me." She growled and flipped hem the bird. I saw Cole gaped at his childhood friend sudden hostileness (I don't even know if this is a word). Alex stared at her with surprise.

I stepped into the beautiful room that held a lot of memories since I got here. "I'll wait outside." Clover murmured and left me alone in the room, closing the door behind her. I walked around touching the furniture. A memory flashing in my mind at every different object. I stood beside the bed and stared at it.

"Good morning kitten." A husky voice whispered beside me. "Fuck off. And do not call me kitten." I muttered with my eyes close, snuggling deeper into the sheets. "Come on.... Get up and make me breakfast." He whined, shaking my arm. "I'm not your maid. Make it yourself." I snapped.

When I sleep, nobody, and I mean nobody disturbs me. The fact that he's my mate is the only thing that's stopping me from being all ninja kick ass on him.

"You tried my cooking yesterday. You know I can't cook even if my life depended on it." Ryder snorted. "And you should have thought clearly before decieving me yesterday about the fact you can't cook." I retorted. Just make our gorgeous mate some food, Gwen groaned. Shut up, I grumbled. "Sapphire.... You can't do this to me... I'm dying here... Please.." He continued to whine like a 5 year old. "Ugghhh..." I groaned, forcing my eyes open and my body out of it's comfortable position. "See. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He flashed me a dazzling grin in victory. I flipped him the bird before taking spare clothes and going into the bathroom. He chuckled.

I felt myself choke on my tears.

That's it Sapph, that's enough. You made the decision and it's too late to change it, so just suck it up. You are not going to be sad and waste your energy on this. Follow the plan and let nothing stop you, Drew growled. Yeah, I am not going through all that hurt for nothing. So we just have to be strong and face every obstacles, Gwen piped up. Thanks guys, you're right. I should at least make the sacrifice worth it, I nodded and pulled down my luggage where Ryder had kept it. I then pulled out all my clothes from the wardrobe me and Ryder shared. There's that name again... Suck it up Sapph, I grumbled to myself. I stuffed all the clothes into the luggage and backpack I had since I got here. I was about to zip up my bag when I spotted a few hoodies that belonged to Ryder.

That's it guys, I said and took three hoodies out, all with strong delicious scents of my mate and stuffed them into my backpack. What are you doing? You want to move on, don't you? Drew hissed. Face it.

We can't possibly live without him. We're soulmates. I need at least something to fill the empty vault inside me, I countered. That's true, Gwen said after some silence. Fine, Drew sighed in defeat.

I went into the bathroom and grabbed my toiletries and stuffed them inside my bag. My hands wrapped around a small bag inside the smaller pocket of my back pack. I pulled it out and was soon staring at a gun and a few silver bullets. I smiled at the memory of my best friend's helping me escape. I pulled out another packet and my eyes widened in realization. The money that they handed me before I left. I hurriedly opened the packet and began counting the money. My eyes widened at the amount. Five thousand freakin dollars?! I found a note and a bank card behind the stash of money.

Hey Sapphire,

It's Bella's mum here. Your mother told me to keep this for your future. I guess I won't be able to see you on anymore. Bella and Willow told me everything. There's a fairly good amount of money in there that your mother left for you. I hope the five thousand dollars would also come in handy. Bye Sapphire, and thank care.

My hands tightened against the bank card my mother left for me. I placed everything back to where I took them out. I wiped the tears that pooled at my eyes during reading the letter quickly. I stuffed everything into my bag and walked stiffly to the door of the room. I glanced back at the wide room before opening the door.

"Done?" Clover asked softly and I nodded, giving her a weak smile. She helped me with my luggage and leaded us to her room. I stepped into her homey room. Not as homey and comfortable as your old room, a voice said in my mind. I shook the thought out from my head. Clover sat on her bed. I stared at her.

"Come here bestie." She smiled and stretched her arms. I climbed onto the bed with her and hugged her as tight as I could. "Can't... breath..." She chocked. I chuckled lightly, letting her go. But even to me,

the chuckle was empty and hollow.

"I.. I'll miss you, Clover." I murmured, sitting beside her. She took a deep breath. "I'm not going anywhere." She stroked my back soothingly. "What?" I snapped my eyes to hers. "I'm going with you." She smiled. "What do you mean you're going with me?" I frowned. "I meant what I said." She shrugged. "No. It's too dangerous. I might kill you!" I screeched at her. "Shush. Do you want people to hear?" She looked at the door in fear. "I don't care. You aren't coming. That's final." I said stubbornly. "Yeah right mum..." She said sarcastically. "Please, don't let me hurt you." I sighed, covering my face with my palms. "If this is about your mother, you can forget about it. I am capable of keeping myself safe." She snorted. "Clover..." I looked at her with a pained expression. "I'm coming with you. You're my friend and I'm not going to leave you." She said with finality in her voice.

"Thanks Clover. I love you so much." I murmured into her shoulder. "That's what friends are for Sapph." She smiled at me warmly.

And she's right. Cause that's what friends are for.