JUNE BREAK

By Amah’s Heart

(Do NOT copy or share)

I picked few things from the money I was paid, we were also given lots of take home gifts

I was filled with excitement as I went home that evening.

We close around 8pm and I got home almost 10pm

Louise was not happy. I kept apologising and explaining to him why we closed late but he didn’t want to hear any of my explanation.

“What sensible excuse do you have coming back by this time apart from the already known reason…?

Sincerely I didn’t understand the question.

I thought he meant I have no sense for coming home late so I replied accordingly.

“Since you’re sensible enough why didn’t you bother to call and check up? Telling me that I have no sense is highly unexpected…”

He stopped and stare at me like I just fell from hell.

He gasped out and said

“You are gradually changing April, you’re metaphorsing into a total stranger. you don’t respect me anymore. You talk back at me. Challenge me and don’t care about my feelings…”

“Jez, That’s not true. I respect you greatly and appreciate you everyday Louise. I’m sorry again if you feel otherwise. I brought alot of goodies home. Can I show you…”

He quickly replied “No”

I asked him what exactly he wants because he is the one acting strange.

He told me that I know exactly what he want but I’m pretending not to know.

I really don’t know what it is except the for the few times he try to talk me into getting intimate but I said No each time he raised the topic.

He had said that he wish I will give him that chance to have me before I will give it to another guy.

I told him I’m wasn’t ready and will not give my virginity to anyone yet.

That was before my birthday

On my birthday night he asked again. More like pleading, I almost gave in but running away from my family was to prove a solid point to everyone that pretend like I don’t exist.

I don’t want to return home in a worst situation. All my troubles will all be in vain. No, God forbids it.

I thought of everything and quickly stopped him.

He was angry but there was nothing I could do.

I apologised to him the following day and he said I don’t need to apologise, he understands.

He raised the topic two to three times after my birthday but I was not going to bend.

He said he wasn’t going to ask again untill I was ready.

I believe him and thanked him again for understanding.

I never thought of it until now. Could it be the reason for all this his strange behavior

He kept making excuses for his strange attitude towards me and i sometimes make excuses for him too.

Now is becoming more clear.

“Are we still on the page of getting intimate? I thought you promised not to talk about it or ask until I’m ready?

He sighed and said while looking away

“Is taking you forever to make up your mind and to be ready. You are only being selfish April. I have always been there for you, took care of you, accommodates you, feed and cloth you. I never asked for anything in return. I even gave up my room so that you will feel secure. All of this I did without asking for anything. The only time I decided to ask.. you turned me down. Each time I raise the topic you you find away to change it. Yet, I remain a gentleman and never burg you. No man will tolerate and lay low like I have done, maybe just few men can do that. I’m golden and you probably don’t know what you have until you loose it…”

This was not what I was expecting this evening.

Anytime he starts this particular discussion i feel so down.

He has a way of guilt trapping me.

Making me feel guilty all of a sudden.

“Do you want a payback for everything you did for me? Is that what you are indirectly asking…?

I asked him and he shut me up by interrupting me.

“What do you take me for? I’m not a bad person April. I’m not asking you to pay me anything. Is not something you can even pay because you can’t. All I wanted was a little something, which as lovers we supposed to be doing normally but I did not want it to seem like I’m taking advantage of you. You’re still a teenager no matter how big you may look. You’re smart and intelligent. And knows exactly what you are doing. Whatever you feel is right then is fine by me. I won’t ask again….”

“You said the same thing the last time Louise. You said you won’t bother me again yet we are having this same conversation again…” I replied him

“This time around, I mean it. I won’t ask again. Whatever you think is right then is also fine by me…”

He walked away and from then onward his attitude towards me changed drastically.

I even try to apologise. I don’t know the reason why I was apologising but I kept doing that.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Yet nothing changed.

We live like strangers. He hardly talk to me or listen to me talk.

He appears to be in his own world.

I hate this sudden change. Louise used to be very lively, loving and funny too.

He was a perfect gentleman and that made me love him even more.

Right now, it seems like I don’t know him again.

I’m ready to do anything just to bring back the lost vibe we once share

I’m afraid because the exact thing he may want… I don’t know if I can give.

But then, I’m still ready to do anything to restore the spark in our relationship.