I want You Deeper

The only thing worse than getting your heart broken was having to relive your entire romance on TV a month and a half later.

But that was exactly what was happening in Vanessa’s own

living room.

Brooke and Alyssa had thrown a viewing party for premiere night, inviting everyone they knew. That party had been in Jeremy Owens’ penthouse condo-Jeremy being Alyssa’s billionaire boyfriend. There had been a bunch of people Vanessa didn’t know, but by the end of the first episode, they were cheering her on.

For the second and final episode, though, the viewing party had been a private one. Just the three of them in their apartment. In all this, she realized she wouldn’t feel the same comfort hanging out in Heath’s gigantic castlemansion. Maybe that meant this was all for the best.

Unfortunately, no matter how many times she told herself that, it wasn’t sticking. Her heart continued to ache.

“The way he looks at you…” Alyssa said.

“I know, right?” Brooke said, casting a nervous glance in Vanessa’s direction. Probably not the best thing to say to someone who had just been dumped by the man doing that looking.

On screen, they were showing the interaction between Heath and Vanessa in the hotel gym. The scene where they kissed. Vanessa wanted to cover her eyes and not watch, but she couldn’t seem to look away. There it was. The kiss. Vanessa felt like this was some odd form of slow torture.

As they pulled back from the kiss, the scene cut to what they called a “talking head.” That was a clip of Heath talking about what had just happened. But what he was saying hit like a punch to Vanessa’s gut.

“I tried to keep it professional, and then Vanessa kissed me.” He shrugged. “What can a guy do?”

They then cut to the scene of the two of them working hard in the exhibit hall. Suddenly, Vanessa in her modest dress and overdone makeup looked like some sort of seductress, thanks to Heath’s words. She was even seeing herself differently, and she knew she had no intention of seducing Heath.

“Wow,” Brooke murmured as the show cut to a commercial.

Vanessa stood and walked to the kitchen. She couldn’t watch another second of this. Apparently, this show was going to paint her as someone who came in to distract Heath, and she wanted no part of it, even though she couldn’t help but be a part of it.

This was, luckily, the final night. She knew how these shows worked. They aired, a bunch of people voiced their thoughts on social media, and a few days later, everyone was on to the next reality show. For all she knew, nobody was watching this, even though every other episode had gotten high ratings, including the first episode on Heath.

“There was no way he wasn’t into that kiss.” Alyssa shook her head. “And the way he’s looking at you… Nobody’s buying that the kiss was all you.”

Now Brooke spoke up. “I think he was saving face. Think about it. He was sent to that trade show to work and there he is, making out with a booth babe.”

Vanessa closed the refrigerator door she’d just opened and turned to face her roommates. “First of all, ‘booth babe’ is a derogatory term. I was a promotional model.”

“Okay, promotional model.” Brooke winced, looking over at Alyssa.

“But the show isn’t painting you as some kick-butt salesperson.”

“That’s what I was, though.” Vanessa heard the frustration in her own voice and knew it had nothing to do with her friends. They were just trying to help. “They didn’t show that the people flooding to Heath’s booth were flooding there because I talked to most of them. I started the pitch, then he closed the deal. We were a team.”

Both Brooke and Alyssa looked at her with mild amusement on their faces. They believed what she was saying, but for some reason, the mention of Vanessa and Heath as a “team” had been funny to them.

Then, she got it. It was romantic. They worked together to make things happen.

Sighing, Vanessa trounced back to the refrigerator to get the bottle of water she’d originally meant to grab. “It doesn’t matter what really happened. All that matters is what the producers decide should make the final cut.”

“Does it?” Brooke’s eyebrows arched as she picked up the remote and paused the commercial. “Because I don’t think some TV show means squat.”

“Well, except that’s how she makes her living,” Alyssa pointed out.

“There is that.” Brooke looked at Vanessa. “But I think what’s going on in real life means much more than what we’re seeing on TV. Am I wrong?”

Tears welling in her eyes, Vanessa shook her head. No, Brooke wasn’t wrong at all. This had nothing to do with some TV show or her career or what people thought of her. It was about Heath dismissing their kiss as being all from her end of things. She’d been so sure there was something going on between them, but she’d been wrong. It had been completely onesided all along.

Seeing her tears, both Brooke and Alyssa rushed to her side. That was the great thing about having two roommates. There was always someone around when you just needed a hug.

While Vanessa sobbed on their shoulders, a gentle chime went off somewhere in the background. Then another and another and another. Someone was getting a text message. No, scratch that-someone was getting dozens of text messages in rapid succession. It got so bad, Brooke pulled back and cast a frown over her shoulder in the direction of the sofa.

“Just a second.” Brooke rushed over, retrieved her phone, and came back, frown on her face as she stared down at the screen. “Well…”

“What?” Brushing the tears away from her face, Vanessa leaned back to look up at her friend. “More bad news?”

“Not at all. You’re trending.”

“I don’t know what that means.” Actually, Vanessa was well aware of what “trending” meant, but she didn’t know what it meant in the context of right now. “Maybe I don’t want to know. Am I the big villain?”

Brooke shook her head. “Not at all. My friend from high school sent me a link. She said all her friends are talking about you.”

A long silence followed as Brooke stared at her screen, moving her finger up and down on it in an indication she was scrolling. Meanwhile, Vanessa and Alyssa were stuck waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

“What does it say?” Alyssa asked impatiently.Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

By then, Vanessa had dived for her own phone, which was set on silent but had a screenful of notifications from friends and relatives all over the country. She opened up her favorite social media app and, sure enough, had seventy-two notifications. Not a big deal. She’d been tagged the first night the show aired an equal number of times, but this time, there was a hashtag assigned to her name.

#HeathandVanessa was the hashtag, and somehow it had a heart at the end of it. She didn’t even know hashtags could have hearts, but then Brooke and Alyssa were the social media geniuses. She only had an account to keep up with what her favorite celebs were doing.

“It’s a showmance, not a romance,” Brooke read from her screen.

Having watched reality TV for pretty much her entire life, Vanessa knew all too well what a showmance was. It was a romance that existed solely for the duration of a reality TV show. The likelihood it would last outside that environment was next to nothing.

“But then the next one says you guys are so dreamy. There’s another that calls you guys ‘hashtag relationship goals.'” Brooke held up her screen. “People are actually fighting over whether you guys are a cute couple or not.”

“What happened at the banquet?” Alyssa asked, who had at some point pulled her own phone out of her back pocket and was now staring at the screen. They were all three sitting on the floor, next to the kitchen, staring at their phones.

Alyssa’s question led Brooke and Vanessa to exchange a look. “The banquet?” Brooke asked Vanessa. “The one I was at?”

“Did you guys kiss again, and you went stone-cold on him?” Alyssa asked, holding up her screen to show a picture.

The picture was a close-up of their kiss at the banquet. It was a very passionate, if quick, kiss, but right as it was intensifying, Vanessa had pulled away. That moment was what was frozen on the screen, and it looked far harsher than she ever would have realized. She hadn’t meant to pull back so sharply.

“I knew we were at a professional event,” Vanessa said in defense of her own behavior. “I thought it would look bad on TV for him to be…”

“Making out with a booth babe,” Brooke said with a teasing smile on her face, no doubt remembering how much the term had riled Vanessa up just minutes ago.

That summed up pretty well why she’d pulled away, though. Her role as a promotional model had put her, technically, in his employ, and kissing employees was bad business for most bosses. All bosses, not just those who were trying to turn their reputations around.

“People are arguing about whether or not you’re into him,” Brooke said, once again staring at her screen. “We have to go watch the rest of the show.”

Vanessa squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and shook her head. “I can’t watch it. I have to go.”

Both roommates looked up from their screens, staring open-mouthed at Vanessa as she stood and grabbed her jacket and purse. She had no idea where she was going, but she felt the need to run as far away from this as she could get. Without another word to her roommates, she exited the apartment, headed straight for her car, started it up, and drove.