Thirty Five
I haven’t seen Damien in years and damn, Monique was right. He’s changed. He doesn’t look like the Damien I once dated. The man standing here looks like a better version of himself. He looks hotter actually and he’s been working out too. Through the dark blue dress shirt he’s wearing, you can see the outlines of his well-chiseled body. His gray eyes stare into my brown ones and I’m left stunned.
“Damien?”
“Hello, Robyn.” He gives me a nervous smile as he bites his bottom lip.
Oh, boy. This is awkward.
Damien and I may have had a mutual breakup without him causing a fuss, but nobody told me how I was supposed to react when my ex-boyfriend appeared at my door looking more gorgeous than the last time I saw him.
“Hi.” Shamelessly, I let my eyes run over his body, pleased by what I was seeing. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, you haven’t been picking up my calls so I thought I should drop by. I’m sorry if this is inappropriate, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t think you’d mind if I showed up unannounced. You know? Since we left things on a good note.” He says as he rubs his nape, avoiding my gaze.
Damien had always been shy when we first met. He could barely look me in the eye. And then he warmed up to me when we got to know each other. He’s a great guy, one of the few guys that I have dated that was actually good, reasons I felt like shit when I wanted to break things off, only to be surprised that he took the breakup well, better than I’d imagined.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been pretty occupied with work and it escaped my mind that I was supposed to call back. How have you been?”
“You’re not gonna let me in? Are we gonna converse outside your door?” Damien asks as he smiles at me.
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” I chuckle and unlock my door, opening the door wide as I step in.
Damien follows behind and shuts the door. We walk past the foyer to the living room in silence. I drop my stuff on the couch and turn to look at Damien who’s glancing around my apartment, staring at every item. Nothing’s changed since we ended things and he feels that too.
“Wow, I can’t believe I’d see the inside of your apartment again,” Damien says as he turns to look at me. “It’s as beautiful as I remember.”
“Thanks.”
“Once again, I’m sorry for showing up unannounced. I wanted to ask you out for dinner actually and I wasn’t sure how you’d react. And it’s not a date, in case you’re thinking about saying no. Just a friendly dinner.” He sighs as he licks his bottom lip. “I got you this. Daisies were your favorite when we were dating. I didn’t know what I was supposed to get.” He hands me the bouquet and I take it, bringing it to my nose and inhaling it.
“This smells really good. I’ll put it in a vase. Thanks, Damien.”
“I’m glad you like it.” He flashes me a genuine smile.
“And you’re in luck,” I say as I head toward the kitchen to keep the flower on the kitchen counter. “I’m kinda hungry and you happened to show up at the right time,” I say and walk back to the living room to find Damien smiling at me.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yeah. What harm would it cause anyway?” I ask, giving Damien a smile of my own.
“Thank you, Robyn. I wasn’t sure you’d agree.” He says, still smiling.
“Please sit down and let me freshen up and get dressed.”
“Sure.”
I grab my stuff off the couch and hurry to my bedroom. This is just a friendly dinner. He’s my ex and we are friends so there’s nothing wrong with having dinner with him, even though he’s looking like he just walked out of a sex dream.
Fuck my life.
I take a shower as I step out of my en-suite bathroom feeling refreshed. I go through my dresses, looking for something simple to wear. This isn’t a date, so I shouldn’t put too much thought into what I’m supposed to wear. I pull out a two-piece, a sangria off-shoulder crop top, with a high-waisted skirt with a black and sangria floral design. The skirt has a high split that exposes a bit of my thigh.
I haven’t had the time to hit the gym as much as I want to since I started working at St. Jose and my thick cellulite thighs are proof of that. I get dressed as I stand in front of my full-length mirror and I put on long silver earrings and a silver choker. I grab a black open-toe, four-inch shoes, and a black shoulder bag.
I run my fingers through my hair and twirl in front of the mirror, pleased at how I look. Even though my plan was not to look like I did too much, I looked a little overdressed, like this was an actual date. I cringe at the thought. Damien might be looking a lot finer than I remember, but I’m not planning on starting something with him. He’s nice, too nice, for his sake and the world, but we can never be anything other than friends.
I wear a bit of perfume and body spray as I step out of my bedroom to the living room, with a little flutter in my stomach. And this flutter isn’t because of happiness or longing but because this feels like Deja Vu. I remember getting dressed just like this when Damien and I were still new to our relationship. He had stood up at once when he saw me, just like he’s doing now, and he complimented me, saying I looked beautiful.
I flash Damien a small smile as he stares at me, lips slightly parted, and short for words.
“You look beautiful, Robyn.” He whispers, breathlessly as he clears his throat, regaining his composure. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. That was pretty weird.” Damien says and I chuckle.
“It’s okay. You’re looking good yourself.”
Damien blushes as he rubs his nape. “Thank you, Robyn.”
Damn.
Now I know why I ended things with Damien. It was because Damien was too good for me. He was like a friend to me, pure, nice, too nice actually and it wasn’t something I wanted. Before I came to New York, I would never date a man like Damien. Even though Damien is good-looking, he isn’t my type. As much as I want control, I like my men to be in control, but with Damien, there’s nothing like control. There’s just everything else. If I was some other girl, I would have been lucky to have Damien in my life, but I’m not some other girl.All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.
“Ready to leave?” Damien asks and I nod, smiling at him.
“Great. Our reserved table is waiting for us.”
***
Damien booked a table for us in a luxurious French restaurant in a very high-end environment. Damien is doing well for himself actually. He works in an oil company owned by his uncle and he’s a petroleum engineer. One thing I admire in Damien is that he’s very hardworking and when he commits his time to doing something productive, he doesn’t stop unless he gets a result.
As we eat, we talk about common things, like ‘how was work, how was our day, and how we have been.’ All that little conversation.
“You said you left New York a few years ago? Why?”
“Work. My uncle started his branch company in Maine and he wanted me to overlook the operation over there.” Damien says as he shrugs.
“How was it? Maine?”
“To be honest, not interesting, actually. I just got out of a break-up and that was the reason I actually agreed to go to Maine. I wanted to like it, but-” Damien scoffs, avoiding my gaze. “Sorry I brought up our relationship, that was stupid.”
“It’s okay. I actually thought you were okay with it.”
“Actually, I was. No offense to you, Robyn, but it takes a lot from a man to capture your heart and attention and then I realize I wasn’t that man. I couldn’t be even though I badly wanted to,” he chuckles, nervously. “It hurt for a while though, even though I was okay you broke things off. But I was glad you wanted to be friends. I thought since I couldn’t have you as my girl, I could make do with being friends. And I’m glad we’re friends or trying to be.”
I am speechless as I watch Damien take a sip from his glass of water. “I’m sorry I was a little difficult when we were together. I’m a workaholic and I put too much into my work, I don’t realize I’m pushing people away until it’s too late. It’s not an excuse, but I hope you understand I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re doing okay. Is St. Jose still stressful?”
I chuckle. “Yeah. Same as you remember.” I reply as I take a sip from my glass of wine.
“You know after working there as a practical nurse, you’re still gonna get a permanent job in St. Jose,” Damien says with a small smile. “They like you there and I believe Doctor Ricci likes your work.”
Yeah, he did because he wanted to have sex with me. “Yeah, well, Doctor Ricci doesn’t work with us anymore. He got transferred, I think.”
“Oh. Who’s your new superior?”
“Doctor Sanders. He’s this Scottish new doctor. He’s nice.” I say, shrugging one shoulder as I gulp my glass of wine.
We’ve finished dinner and we’re waiting for dessert.
“So I take it as you’re not in a relationship?”
“You got that right.”
“Same reason?”
I give Damien a look as he leans back in his seat to give me a judgmental look.
“I’m sorry if that came out wrong.”
“It’s okay. I’m not looking for a relationship.”
Damien nods in understanding. “I’ll drop the subject then.”
I open my mouth to reply, but someone interrupts us.
“Damien?” A woman says as Damien and I turn to look at her.
She has blonde hair, green eyes, and a sharp cheekbone. She’s a little on the lean side, body like a model, and she’s beautiful. She’s tall, a lot taller than the man standing beside her. The man is confused, just as I am as he looks at the blonde woman who’s looking at me and Damien.
“Emilia,” Damien says, obviously surprised to see her.
Okay, they know each other. I wonder who she is.
“Hi. Long time. I didn’t think you’d be back in New York so soon.”
“Yeah, well, my vacation is over.” Damien gives her a small smile as he shifts his gaze to the man.
“Oh, this is my husband, Remy. We got married two months ago.” Emelia says as she interlocks her fingers with Remy’s.
Damien looks taken off guard and disappointed. But why?
“Oh.” Damien manages to voice out. He clears his throat as he looks at me. “Um, Robyn, this is Emilia. Emilia, Robyn.” Damien introduces us.
“Hi.” I muster up a small smile at the blonde and she returns it.
“I’ll see you around then,” Emelia says to Damien.
“Yeah,” Damien answers with a small nod.
With a final glance thrown my way, Emilia struts off with her husband by her side. I turn to look at Damien who is a little distracted.
“What’s up? Ex-girlfriend?”
Damien clears his throat and says, “Something like that. We used to date and then one morning she told me she couldn’t continue our relationship anymore and she wanted us to break up.” Oh. My God. “We met in Maine three months after my arrival, dated for two and a half years. I thought she was the one, if you know what I mean. Not to mention I was gonna propose that night and then I got the news.”
“I’m so sorry, Damien. I”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. Yours might have hurt a little, but hers sting as fuck.” He chuckles sadly. “Some might say I have a type, you know? But it’s past tense, I don’t like to talk about it. Right now, I’m not looking for a relationship, thought I should take a break.”
“Yeah.”
If I may have felt like shit cutting things off with Damien because I wasn’t feeling it, trust me, I feel worse. Emilia broke his heart, the same way I did.
I exhale as I push my seat back. “I’m gonna use the restroom if you don’t mind.”
“Sure.”
“I’ll be right back,” I say as I stand up, hurrying toward a door at the far corner of the restaurant with a restroom sign on the door. I push open the door and step inside.
I appear in a well-lit hallway, with white lights hanging from the ceiling. There are two doors on either side, with a male sign on one of the doors and a female sign on the other. I twist the knob of the door with the female sign as I step inside, as the door closes behind me.
This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have come here in the first place with Damien even though it was supposed to be a friendly dinner. The dinner was nice, and friendly, actually, but then Emilia showed up reminding me of how I hurt Damien just the way she hurt him. Seriously, if he hadn’t told me himself he was hurt when I broke things off, I wouldn’t have known. Damien gave me the impression that he was okay that I was calling things off. How was I supposed to know he wasn’t happy at all?
I stand opposite the horizontal mirror as I stare at my reflection, tucking a few strands behind my ear as I take a deep breath.
Okay, it’s time for me to get the fuck out of this place.
I can’t stay here any longer knowing my ex-boyfriend who is trying to be friends is actually going through a relationship crisis and I may be part of that crisis. I can’t. I think of an excuse to put an end to our dinner without making him think I’m actually running away.
Alright. Time to dash.
I open the restroom door as I step out, only to stop on my track at the figure standing before me.