Ex-Husband's Regret

I had just finished cleaning up when my phone rang. For some reason, I always find cleaning relaxing. It’s a way for me to take my mind off what’s stressing me out.

Since I was back on my feet and could fend for myself, I let Lydia go. She was a great help, but I didn’t need a nurse anymore. Plus I preferred to be independent.

I cross the room and pick up my phone. For a moment, I’m tempted to hang up when I see Letty’s name flashing. I was still a bit pissed at her but a part of me also understood her. I would also do anything for the man I loved, including trying to bring him and his estranged sister together.

“Hey” I answer walking up to my room.

“I’m so sorry, Ava. I crossed the line even after I made a promise to never speak about Travis” the emotion in her voice caught me off guard.

She sounded genuine and a little bit sad. I was surprised and I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t used to people apologizing to me and actually meaning it. As a matter of fact, none of those around me has ever apologized when they wronged me.

“Letty…”

She cuts me off before I can finish. “You were right. We can’t expect you to just forget. To just pretend like he hasn’t hurt you for years. No amount of remorse from him is enough to erase the emotional pain he put you through. I love him, God, do I love him, but my love can’t blind me to his faults and his awful treatment of his own sister. You’re a beautiful soul and yet he crushed you with his cruelty so how can I ask you to just forgive him years of mistreatment? It wouldn’t be fair. Our friendship has come to mean a lot to me and I don’t want to ruin it”

I sigh. Already feeling tired and emotionally drained. It would be so much easier to just forget and move on, but that’s the thing about being hurt. It’s never easy to forget about it. 

They say that time heals all wounds. I say that it’s all crap. This kind of pain stays with you for life. You simply find a way to co–exist with it or to numb it. The wound inflicted doesn’t always completely heal.

“Look, Letty, I get where you’re coming from and I get how hard it must be for you. I like being you friend, I really do, but I also don’t want to cause any problems between you and Travis. The last thing I want and need is Travis hating me more than he already does” 

“He doesn’t hate…”

This time I’m the one that interrupts her. “Please let’s not go there. He has made it clear multiple times that he does and I accepted that a long time ago”

I mean, it’s easy to get used to it when your family, husband and in laws hate you. It hurt like a bitch but I got used to it and made peace with it.

She lets out a breath before speaking. “I don’t want our friendship to end, okay? I’ll just have to find a way to keep both relationships separate from each other”

I don’t see how that will work. She’s bound to get tired and give up. It’s hard to stand in the middle of two people you treasure but don’t see eye to eye.

I go to tell her exactly that when my phone vibrates with another incoming call. I smile. Feeling like my old self since everything went down with Letty a couple of hours ago.

“I’ve got to go, Letty. Noah is calling and I want to talk to him before he goes to sleep” I let her know, eager to talk to my son.

“Sure, I understand” she pauses. “We’re okay though? I swear I’ll keep my promise and won’t mention Travis again”

“Yeah, we’re okay. Don’t worry about it” I tell her, meaning every word.

“Thanks” she says excitedly. “I’ll let you have your time with Noah. Tell him I said, Hello, and have a goodnight”

“You too, Letty”

I hang up the phone and take a deep breath. Since Noah had already hanged up, I call him back.

“Hello?” I freeze at the sound of mother’s voice coming from the other side.

I haven’t talked to her since that day at the airport. Among all the people who hurt me, hers hurt more. A mother is supposed to love and cherish her kids, yet I got nothing from my own mother. I mean how could she just turn her back on me? How could she treat me like I was nothing?

Now that I have my own child, I can’t understand how she was able to do it. I can’t ever imagine turning my back on Noah.

“Ava, how are you?” she asks softly, her voice trembling a little.

Nothing comes out of my l*ps. I remain mute. Not because I have nothing to say to her, but because I have so much to say and neither of it is good. I’d rather keep quiet than say something I can’t take back. 

“Please say something? Anything…I just want to hear your voice” she whispers, her voice thick.

I still don’t say anything. My throat clogs with emotion. This is the mother I always wanted. A few years back, hell a few months back, I would have jumped at this opportunity, but it’s too late now.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me, so I’ll just put Noah on the phone. Just know that I love you, Ava” 

I didn’t mean to, but I scoff at her words. If what she’s shown me my entire life is love, then I don’t want it. I’ve seen firsthand what her kind of love can do and I want nothing to do with it.

I hear her call out to Noah and soon enough, my boy is on the phone with me.

“Hi, Mommy” he says. This time though he isn’t his usual excited self.

“What’s wrong?” i ask with concern

“Nothing, I just miss you so much. It’s fun being here but I want to come home, when can I come home?” Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

His sadness kills me. I wanted him home more than anything, but his safety comes first.

I was about to answer when I heard a crash downstairs. I sit up on my bed.

“Noah, let me check something downstairs then I’ll call you back” I tell him distractedly.

He answers with an okay and then hangs up. Once he does, I grip my phone and head downstairs. I wanted to believe that it wasn’t anything. That maybe a cup fell or something stupid like that, but I couldn’t.

Grabbing a vase, I tip toe down stairs towards where I heard the noise. My heart stops for a second when I see the broken glass of my back door, which was now open. Someone had just broken into my house and deep down I knew it wasn’t just a common burglar. 

Jerkily, I pull my phone out about to call the police, but I don’t get a chance before someone hits me on the head.

“This time, I’ll make sure you’re dead” I hear an unfamiliar voice say right before I fall to the ground.