Always Been You

~Candice’s POV~

My brain is fried, and I have no idea what to do next. I’m out of options at this point in time. Dante shattered my life, which is how I ended up here. I am a girlfriend who is nothing less than a housemaid. Dante made it clear that he didn’t want me, but I forced myself into this house on the pretense that I had no place to go and I owe some people money, hence I can’t rent a place. He doesn’t even show the slightest bit of interest in me. Lola has been gone for over 2 years now, but Dante won’t give me a chance, he instead fucks hookers while I am here, staying with him and waiting for him every month. I made dinner, arranged the table, and awaited his return. Well, he might come back, or he might not come back. We rarely dine together. Oh well, I forgot to mention that he doesn’t even touch my food. I lied to him just to be closer to him, in hopes that he would stop talking about Lola and look at me, but I failed, he loves Lola. Ever since I moved into this house for the second time, he has only touched me once. That was 2 weeks after Lola vanished. I chuckled at the thought, as he avoided looking at my face entirely. He fucked me from behind, not to forget that he called me Lola. I initially believed it was his customary insanity, but now I know better. Dante is head over heels in love with Lola. He cannot stand me, he cannot eat my food, and we are unable to live together as boyfriend and girlfriend. He informed me that I had blown my opportunity to be Mrs. Monroe and that I should forget about it. We rarely have a conversation without him insinuating that everything is in my head. How is it possible that it is all in my imagination when he appears to despise everything about me? Initially, I assumed it was because of Jiang, but it turns out that Dante couldn’t give a damn about me. I expressed my regrets to him and asked. I wanted to move in with him so that we could take our relationship to the next level. He accepted, of course, with the pretense of being stranded. He didn’t know I wanted us to fix our relationship. I remember telling him I wanted us to fix our broken relationship. He agreed, but he didn’t have time for anything. Since I arrived here, I’ve been cooking, and he’s only touched my food once. He doesn’t eat at home. My head is spinning with frustration at why he can’t get the blasted ring off his finger. Dante used to propose to me a lot, but right now we don’t even talk. He is too preoccupied to listen to me if I initiate a conversation. I’m not sure how we got here. I’m not allowed to enter his room. I asked him to use the room that Lola had been occupying before she left because it had a lot of space. He gave me a big fat, ‘NO,’ and then locked that room.

I placed a bottle of wine on the table. I’ve been wife material, even going so far as to request that the cook no longer prepare dinner, but all of my efforts have been futile. When he strolled in, I was almost finished with the table setting.

“Welcome, babe.” He didn’t respond in any way. Rather than that, he simply looked me in the eye with disgust. He had a really chilly expression on his face. His frigid expression landed on the bowl of rice that I was putting on the table at the time.

“Are you expecting visitors?” He asked, his face still cold.

“No, this is for you and me. I would appreciate it if you could join me for dinner.” He slanted his brow at me, as if I’d said something bizarre, or more precisely, something I’m not allowed to speak.

“Since when did you and I start sharing dinner?” I wanted to shout, I am his fucken girlfriend, at least I hoped, and he is always fantasizing about someone who isn’t here and I have to beg to have dinner with him. I gulped everything and gathered my wits about me.

“Please.” I pleaded. He took a long, hard look at me from head to toe before eventually opening his mouth.

“Okay.”

He went upstairs to take a quick shower, which gave me some breathing room to figure out the best way to approach him. Because if I say something wrong, it might piss him off. He made his way downstairs and sat across from me at the table. He reached out for a bottle of wine and poured it into a glass for himself, swirling his glass and gulping down the wine, his gaze never leaving mine during the entire process. How is it possible for someone to be so stunning and yet have such a hostile perception? I realized after ten minutes that he had not touched his food.

“Are you not going to eat it? It’s amazing.” He took another swig from his drink and swirled it.

“I’m sure it is.” With a sarcastic smirk, he stated. I made no attempt to force the matter. His constant search for ways to embarrass me was something I was well acquainted with. I was on the verge of bawling in front of him, but I managed to keep it together. I don’t even know what kind of relationship we have, but I clearly know that I am forcing things. He made it clear, but I had hope. Since the day I moved in with him, he has been making me feel bad about myself. He rarely returns home, and suspicions circulate that he is dating his newly recruited assistant. I had a nervous breakdown at the prospect of him cheating on me.

“What is this, Dante?” Do you have no time for me? Are we not girlfriend and boyfriend?” He set his glass of wine on the table and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands across his chest and staring at me as I ranted. Probably, he’s taking pleasure in this. His attitude toward me is perplexing, and I fail to comprehend why. I sacrificed everything for him. “I gave up everything for you, Dante, for us to work. I resigned from work for you and me to work on our relationship. I cook for you every day, but you don’t touch my food. What is the reason for all of this?”

He took a sip of his wine from his wineglass and swallowed it whole. His chair was pushed back against the table, and he sat back in his chair after setting the wine glass on the table and pouring another glass of wine into it.

No one asked you to play wifey. I heard him mutter that.

“Are you sure you want me to answer that?”A mocking smirk appeared on his face as he asked the question. Then I nodded at him. And then he locked his gaze on me. This time, however, his expression was lethal. When I glanced at him, he didn’t blink, not even once. He clenched his jaw, and his gaze remained fixed on me. Then he took another gulp of his wine. “Very well then, I will answer all your questions. First and foremost, let’s get one thing straight. Did you give up everything for me? Who asked you to do it? Did I? I don’t remember telling you that you must quit your job. Did you say you quit your job for us to work? Who is us? You did it for your own benefit. You quit your job for your own selfish reasons, so don’t you dare tell me you quit your job for us to work. Just who the fuck is us? Should I remind you that I’m a married man and do you want me to divorce my wife to make it work with you? Who are you? What can you offer that my wife cannot offer me?”

“Dante! Lola isn’t your wife!” I screamed. Lola can go to hell in a handbasket.

“Says who?”

“Me!” I exclaimed.

“Well, Lola is my wife and the only woman to occupy the master bedroom. As I was saying before, you interrupted me. I didn’t ask you to resign. Your actions were driven by your own self-interest rather than mine. Secondly, you say, “I don’t eat your food. I’ve hired cooks to cook for me in my home, so if you’re interested in applying for the role of chef, please do so before entering my kitchen and ordering my cooks around. They cook for my taste, and you are not in any way close to the taste, so stop cooking because I will never eat it.”

I had reached a point where I could no longer bear the insult. When I gazed at the man in front of me, tears streamed down my cheeks. I was prepared to take a chance on us. Yes, I’ve been out and about fucking and having a good time. But I left it all because I realized I loved him. I’m here in this blasted house like a good little wife for him. However, I will never be regarded as a valuable individual.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Thirdly, you say you moved in with me so we can work things out. What do you want to work with a married man? Are you that shameless? Or, more precisely, desperate. When you told me you wanted to move in, I thought you were stranded. I was under the impression that you had nowhere else to go. I thought your Jackie Chan boyfriend might have chased you out. As a result, I have offered you a room. Did you wish to put some heat on my bed? Ahh, that’s what you wanted. This is a real bummer! I was under the impression that you were stranded. If you are not stranded, no one is forcing you to stay here. You are free to gather your belongings and leave.”

This man doesn’t see anything good in me. Perhaps I should return to work so that he would see my worth and will be able to finally let go of that Lola girl. I pledge to God that if I manage to see Lola before he does, I will ensure she remains in her current location. Dante is mine, and I will go to great lengths to ensure our relationship succeeds.

“Can I then have my job back?”

“Well, apply for a position just like any other employee. I have my doubts, though, that your previous post is still open. You may make an attempt and submit an application. Maybe the HR team might have something for you. Though the last time I checked, we only had positions for cleaners.”

“But I am your girlfriend. Why should I go through that process?”

“Girlfriend? Oh dear, when it comes to my company, you apply like everyone else. No one receives special treatment.” He rose from his seat and drained the remainder of the wine from his glass. “Oh and Candice, if your intentions of being in my house were to seduce me, maybe you should leave. I don’t appreciate such nonsense, and again, stop going to my kitchen. You are a guest here and guests should know their place in one’s house, right?” He placed the wineglass on the table and headed upstairs.

How am I ever going to be able to tame this obnoxious jackass?